Wise Owl Wednesday #22 - Friendship

Jul 01, 2020 6:18 pm

Happy Wednesday, Wise Owl Nation.


Before we get started I have a few updates.

The referral rewards section received a makeover and looks incredible.

All referrers now have their own page to track their progress.

You can find it now at the bottom of every email.

Here's a quick screenshot, but seriously, check it out for yourselves.


image


Topic of the week: Friendship

Friendship - A subject I must admit I am not great at, and am working to improve upon.

In this week's issue I will talk about three different types of friendships:

  • Friendships of Utility
  • Friendships of Pleasure (like poker night, going out to bars, etc.)
  • Friendships of The Good (true friends)


Friendships are a vital part of being human and enjoying life.


It's a topic I rarely see written or talked about with regards to self-improvement, probably because most of the people that write about self-improvement are already pretty good at making friends. Well, I generally suck at it, so I wanted to write about what I've learned about improving friendships in this weeks issue.


Let's get into it.


You can find all past issues (including this one) here.


_____________________________________


Was this email forwarded to you? 

Click here to subscribe

_____________________________________



Quote of the week:

image


Wisdom Tip of the Week: The three types of Friends

According to Stoic philosophy, the human tribe has established three different types of friendships:

  • Friendships of Utility
  • Friendships of Pleasure
  • Friendships of The Good


These are the three layers of friendships built into our society.


Friendships Of Utility - The first layer of friendship that humans usually build is a friendship of utility. This is a relationship where there is a transparent exchange of value, such as coworkers or your hairstylist.


Coworkers are people you are going to have to spend a lot of time interacting with, so it helps to try and get to know them and find things you have in common with them. It's the entire point of happy hour, but during times of COVID, this is pretty hard.


So what I have been doing lately is taking a minute or two at the beginning of each meeting to chat about something I am working on outside of work, such as this newsletter or cryptocurrency. Inevitably someone will take the bait and mention they are interested in that too. Bingo!


Now you can chat with them about that topic offline and build rapport.


Friendships of Pleasure - This is a friendship that has moved beyond mutual value to shared enjoyment in some way. You may not get anything directly from the person you are around, but they are there with you, enjoying the same thing you enjoy, and so you come together under that commonality.


This doesn’t translate that well from Latin, but pleasure in this sense just means enjoyment in the here-and-now.


Some examples of Friends of Pleasure could be:

  • Drinking friends
  • A consistent poker group
  • Even an online gaming guild/clan

These relationships are still pretty shallow, and you will have many of them in your life.

This is also where most friendships end for me if they even get this far.


So I've tried to work on making more time to keep up with the people that I connect with the most. These are usually people that have similar deeper interests like learning, philosophy, ambition, etc. You always want to be trying to add value to these kinds of friendships to help them grow.


It takes time and a lot of effort but, eventually, a few of these friendships can evolve into their final form.


Friendship of The Good - In current English, these are your best friends, your “ride or die” people.

The friends that you have a deep connection with, and can have a truly engaging conversation.


With these friends, there’s no assumption or obligation of a good time. They genuinely care about your well-being and will enjoy spending time in your presence, always wanting what is best for you.


As expected, these friendships are rare and must be worked on and cultivated.


Health Tip of the Week: Health & Friendships

If you want to be healthier, hang out with healthy people.

The quote of the week hits on this pretty hard.

Most of your friendships are going to be friendships of utility or friendships of pleasure, so choose those people wisely, because unfortunately, they are going to be around a lot.


Over time, the best of the best of those friendships can grow into Friendships of The Good, where you truly value who someone is as a person and they value you right back.


Try to surround yourself with truly high quality people, and the quality of your life will follow suit.


Wealth Tip of the Week: Money & Friendships

Don't talk money with your Friendships of Utility or Pleasure.

Unless you get lucky, this is a one-way ticket to disaster.

I love to talk about personal finance - a lot, but I've learned not many people share that same passion.

This took me a long time to understand, but money is very personal to a lot of people.


It should go without saying that you shouldn't be lending money to anyone other than Friendships of The Good.


Also, never be the guy or gal that owes any kind of friend money. That will very quickly spoil whatever relationship might be forming. No one likes a free-loader.



Book Of The Month - Serial Winner

image


Chapter Reviews:



Grab a copy of Serial Winner



** The links above are affiliate links. If you purchase the books with the links above, I receive a super tiny commission, which helps support this newsletter. Thank you! **


Resources

I will be adding to this section over time as we find resources that will help you all.



Comments