Most people treat networking like speed dating.

They show up in a DM.

Ask a few questions.

Say thank you.

And then vanish.

Two weeks later, they come back with a “Hey, just following up…” message that feels… off.

Here’s what I teach my clients instead:

Don’t collect contacts. Build advocates.

Because advocates:

→ Remember you

→ Root for you

→ Refer you—even when you’re not asking

But you can’t build that by being transactional.

You build that by showing up differently.

Here’s how:

1. End the first convo with a soft anchor.

Something like:

“Thanks again for sharing your story—I’d love to stay in touch as I work through this job search. Hope it’s okay if I reach out again down the road.”

You’re not forcing a mentorship. You’re planting a seed.

2. Send a meaningful follow-up later.

Not “checking in.”

But value in return.

Examples:

→ “You mentioned a challenge with onboarding. I came across this post and thought of your team.”

→ “I revisited my case study after our chat—especially the part about business impact. Here’s how I reframed it.”

Even a one-line update that shows reflection makes you memorable.

3. Give before you ask. Always.

Tag them on something relevant.

Celebrate a launch or milestone.

Share something useful without expecting anything back.

Over time, they’ll associate you with:

→ Thoughtfulness

→ Consistency

→ Growth

And when a referral or opportunity pops up?

You won’t need to “ask.”

They’ll already think of you.

Because you didn’t just show up once and disappear.

You built a relationship.

So the next time you have a great coffee chat or LinkedIn convo—don’t let it end there.

Ask yourself:

“What would this look like if I were building trust for the long term?”

Then act like it.

Joseph