You’ve been told to network.

So you send connection requests.

DM strangers.

Comment on posts you don’t care about.

But nothing sticks.

No replies. No intros. No referrals.

Here’s why:

You’re not building relationships.

You’re begging for favors.

Let me show you a smarter way — the same method I used to skip the application line and get into first-round interviews.

It’s called relationship-first referrals — and it’s built on 4 simple steps.

Step 1: Understand the power of referrals

Referrals aren’t just faster.

They’re trust shortcuts.

→ Referred candidates are 4x more likely to get interviews.

→ Hiring managers lean on referrals to filter noise.

→ Referrals bypass ATS. Period.

But spam doesn’t work.

“Hi, can you refer me?” screams desperation.

Here’s what works:

“Hi, I admire your work at [Company]. Would you be open to a quick chat about your experience there?”

No ask. Just curiosity.

Step 2: Network on LinkedIn like a human, not a hunter

→ Follow designers, not just recruiters.

→ Comment thoughtfully — not generically.

→ Send connection notes that give context, not just ask for help.

People respond to people. Not scripts.

Step 3: Connect with alumni — your unfair advantage

→ Find people who share your school, bootcamp, or city.

→ Reach out with warmth, not neediness.

Try:

“Hey! I noticed we both came from [School]. I’d love to hear how you transitioned into your current UX role. Would you be open to sharing your journey?”

This creates real connection — and trust.

And trust opens doors.

Step 4: Audit, share, and spark relevance

This is your secret weapon.

→ Pick a dream company.

→ Do a 60-minute UX audit.

→ Share a crisp, respectful insight with their design lead.

“Hi [Name], I recently audited your product as part of a UX study. I noticed [X friction] and mocked up a small idea. Would love to hear your thoughts — or whether it aligns with anything your team is exploring.”

That one message?

Gets more attention than 50 job board clicks.

Because it’s value first. Not “hire me.”

That’s how you win interviews without asking for them.

By building trust before you need it.

So ask yourself:

Are you cold pitching?

Or warm positioning?

Reply back to this email — what’s your take?