Why networking feels so desperate (and what to do instead)

Jul 14, 2025 12:08 pm

Hey there,


I'm heading out for my mandatory military reservist training starting today.


(Quick context for my global audience: In Singapore, after completing national service, all men serve as reservists until age 40. We do annual training to stay ready - it's our duty to protect our families and Singapore's future.)


Week 1 is all preparation - equipment checks, safety briefings, fundamentals before we head to field operations next week.


But here's what hit me during today's briefing:


Everyone talks about networking like it's the solution to job search struggles.


"Just network more."

"Connect with people."

"Go to events."


But nobody talks about why it feels so awful.


You send LinkedIn requests and feel like you're bothering people.

You attend events and feel like everyone can smell your desperation.

You craft "coffee chat" requests and cringe at how needy they sound.


Here's what I realized: The problem isn't that networking doesn't work.


The problem is how you've been taught to do it.


Traditional networking starts with YOU needing something.


What I teach starts with THEM and their challenges.


Instead of "Can we grab coffee?" you ask "I noticed you moved from agency to in-house - what surprised you most about that transition?"


Instead of pitching yourself, you share insights about challenges they're facing.


The result: They want to respond because you're curious about their world, not asking for favors.


👉 Get the complete relationship-building system - $49


Week 1 Only: Available during my preparation week (July 14-20). Next week I'll release a different system for converting conversations to offers.


6 days left to get this.


While I'm prepping to serve Singapore, you can prep to transform your career approach.


Joseph

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