Last night, my 3-year-old son burst into tears on the potty.

He had just peed.

And then, with the most serious face you can imagine, he cried:

“I want my pee to go back!”

I didn’t laugh.

Not out loud, at least.

He was genuinely upset — because in his mind, that was a real option.

So I knelt down and tried to explain:

“Sometimes, there are things in life that only go one way.

Once it comes out, it doesn’t go back in.

That’s just how our body works.”

And in that moment — no joke — I thought of every frustrated UX professional I’ve coached.

Because the same rule applies.

Some things don’t work in reverse.

No matter how much you try.

No matter how badly you want them to.

Just like pee, some parts of job search are one-directional.

But most UX professionals don’t realize this.

They get rejected.

So they tweak their resume again.

They update the portfolio again.

They submit more cold applications.

But they’re trying to fix something by forcing it back through a system that doesn’t work like that.

They’re trying to make the pee go back in.

Here’s the hard truth:

Hiring is not a reward system for effort.

It’s a risk management system for teams.

So what matters is not how much effort you’ve poured in —

It’s how much trust you’ve built before the job ever gets posted.

And trust is also one-directional.

It builds with every human interaction.

Every thoughtful message.

Every signal you put into the world.

You can’t “cold-apply” your way into trust.

So what do you do instead?

You play the game forward — not backward.

1. Be findable
2. 
   

• Your LinkedIn, portfolio, and presence should reflect your unique value, not just your work.

1. Be memorable
2. 
   

• That DM, that coffee chat, that comment on someone’s post?
• It’s a seed. Plant it.

1. Be trustworthy
2. 
   

• Share ideas. Solve problems in public. Don’t wait for a job to be posted to show you care.

Because here’s what I’ve seen in every job-winning story:

Someone believed in them before the job opened.

So if you’re stuck — maybe you’re just looking the wrong way.

Instead of pressing rewind, press record.

Instead of cold outreach, create warm alignment.

And remember:

Some things only go one way.

But that’s not a limitation.

It’s a design feature.

—

What about you?

Have you ever felt like you were forcing something that just… wasn’t meant to reverse?

Just hit reply. No need to overthink it.

— Joseph