YOUR TEEN ISN'T BROKEN—THEY ARE JUST IN WINTER

Dear Fellow Parent,

I want to tell you about a garden I once knew. For months, it looked barren. The soil seemed lifeless, the branches bare. The gardener worried, fertilized frantically, and wondered what they'd done wrong.

Then spring arrived. The garden exploded with life that had been growing underground all along.

Your teenager isn't broken. They're not failing. They're in winter.

When your 15-year-old grunts instead of talking, when your 13-year-old chooses their phone over family dinner, when your 17-year-old seems to have lost all academic motivation—they're not rejecting you. They're doing the deep, invisible work of becoming themselves.

But here's what I've learned after coaching many families: winter gardens still need tending. Not with harsh pruning or desperate over-watering, but with patience, the right nutrients, and understanding of what's actually happening beneath the surface.

This week's gentle shift: Instead of asking, "How was school?" try "What's one thing that felt good today?" Notice how this small change creates space instead of pressure.

The most profound transformations happen when we stop trying to fix our teens and start truly seeing them.

With understanding, Latifah Ajetunmobi

P.S. Every parent I work with asks the same question: "Am I doing this right?" The fact that you're asking means you care deeply. That's already half the answer.

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