The conversation I wish I didn't have to write

Dec 09, 2025 10:46 pm

Hi ,

I need to share something heavy with you today. I almost didn't write this email, not because it isn't important, but because I know it will hurt to read.

But our children's safety is worth the discomfort.

Last week, two stories emerged from Nigeria that I cannot stop thinking about:

A mother sexually abused her three-year-old daughter, who now has an STD.

A 33-year-old female teacher sexually abused a high school male student.

These aren't strangers. These are people who were supposed to protect, nurture, and guide these children.

If you're a parent reading this, I know what you're thinking: "This could never happen to my child. I would know. I'm paying attention."

I thought that too.

But here's what I've learned in nearly two decades of parenting and a long time of coaching families: The parents who "never thought it could happen" are often the ones it happens to.

Not because they don't love their children. Not because they're neglectful. But because they underestimated one critical thing:

Predators don't just target vulnerable children they target communication gaps.

They look for kids who:

Don't talk openly with their parents
Don't have the language to describe what's happening
Have been taught that obedience to adults is non-negotiable
Live in homes where uncomfortable topics are avoided
Have never practiced saying "This feels wrong"

The high school student who was abused by his teacher? He had words. He had awareness. What he may not have had was a relational foundation that made disclosure feel possible.

That's the gap I want to help you close.

This is why I spent 60 days teaching the Communication Cascade Model. This is why I wrote The Phone-Free Teenager with entire chapters on communication repair. This is why I created the Teen Reconnection Blueprint.

Because communication isn't just about getting your teen to talk to you about school and friends. It's about building a home where they can tell you ANYTHING especially the things that are scary, shameful, or confusing.

Here's what I need you to do this week:

1. Have ONE conversation about body boundaries Use age-appropriate language (I've included scripts in this week's blog post). Just one conversation. Start there.

2. Establish ONE daily connection ritual 15 minutes. Device-free. No agenda. Let your child lead. This is your foundation.

3. Practice your crisis response What would you say if your child disclosed something difficult? Write it down. Rehearse it. "I believe you. This is not your fault. Thank you for telling me."

4. Read the full article I published this week I've broken down everything you need to know: warning signs, reporting procedures, age-by-age boundary conversations, and the complete Communication Cascade Model.

[Read: "When Those Meant to Protect Become Predators" When Those Meant to Protect Become Predators: A Parent's Guide to Building Unbreakable Safety Through Communication By Latifah Ajetunmobi, Parent & Teen Coach, Author of "The Phone-Free Teenager" - Coach Latifah]

I've also created a FREE Resource Sheet with (all in the link above):

Age-appropriate scripts for boundary conversations
The 5-level Communication Cascade breakdown
Warning signs of abuse
Reporting procedures for multiple countries
A 30-day communication challenge to get you started

One more thing:

If you have teenage boys, please understand: they are just as vulnerable as girls, though our culture tells them otherwise. The shame male victims carry is compounded by myths about masculinity and victimhood.

Your son needs to know that being abused by a woman doesn't make him "lucky"—it makes him a victim. And real strength is seeking help.

I know this email is hard. I know you might be thinking, "I'll read this later" or "This doesn't apply to my family."

But please—don't wait.

The three-year-old couldn't speak for herself. The high school student had the words but maybe not the safety to use them.

Your child needs you to build that safety NOW before they ever need to use it.

The work of protection begins with conversation.

And conversation begins today.

I'm here with you in this work. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Your children are counting on you not to be perfect, but to be present, open, and brave enough to have the conversations that protect them.

Let's do this together.

With you in the work,

Latifah

Latifah Ajetunmobi

Certified Parent, Teen & Life Coach

Author

The Phone-Free Teenager

P.S.—If you know another parent who needs to read this, please forward this email. Child safety is everyone's responsibility, and we protect children better when we work together.

P.P.S.—If this email brought up anything difficult for you personally—if you're a survivor of childhood sexual abuse—please know that healing is possible, and you're not alone. The RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7: 1-800-656-4673.