🌿 Co-Regulation Strategies for Parents

“Before a child can self-regulate, they must first co-regulate — and that begins with us.”

🛟Co-regulation is the process of calming and connecting together. It’s not about fixing your child’s emotions or controlling their behaviour. It’s about staying regulated with them, so their nervous system learns: “I’m safe, I’m seen, I’m supported.” 🫁😮‍💨

And yes — it starts with your regulation, too. 🧘🏼‍♂️🧠

✨ Why It Matters: 

Children (especially neurodivergent kids) often can’t access calm on their own. When their brains go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, they need a safe adult who can anchor them — not punish them for dysregulating.

As parents and carers, we get to model emotional regulation, offer safety, and help build those brain pathways over time.

But remember: you can’t co-regulate if your own nervous system is in survival mode.

💚 Co-Regulation Strategies You Can Try:

1. Regulate Yourself First (when possible)

Take a deep breath. Step back. Pause.

If you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to say:

“I need a moment so I can help you better.”

Self-regulation isn’t perfect — it’s practiced.

2. Use Calm, Grounded Body Language

Lower your voice. Drop to their level. Soften your face.

Your body communicates safety — before your words ever do.

3. Offer Simple, Validating Words

“You’re having a hard time. I’m here.”

“It’s okay to feel big feelings.”

“Let’s take a breath together.”

Short. Reassuring. No demands.

4. Use Sensory-Based Support

• Rocking, pressure hugs, or gentle tapping

• Ear defenders, weighted items, soft fabrics

• Movement (jumping, stretching, bouncing)

Every child’s nervous system is different — find what feels supportive for yours and theirs.

5. Co-Regulate Through Connection

Sometimes, regulation happens after the storm.

Read a book together. Lay under a blanket. Colour side-by-side.

Rituals of connection restore safety.

6. Reflect, Don’t Shame

“That was really tough earlier. You felt big things and we got through it together.”

Help them process without blame. That’s how emotional literacy grows.

☁️ A Reminder:

You’re not failing if your child melts down.

You’re not doing it wrong if you lose your cool sometimes.

You’re human.

And co-regulation isn’t about perfection — it’s about repair and relationship.

You’re learning, growing, and healing too.

And that matters just as much. 🌱

Jen @OT_Intuition

Peace ✌🏼 & Love 💚