Dear Friend,

When was the last time you laughed and had pure, unfiltered fun with your spouse or partner?

If you can’t remember, keep reading. If you can, keep reading anyway—this is for everyone!

It’s time for a LOVENAP!

A lovenap is a spontaneous, thoughtful gesture or mini-date to connect, have fun and spark joy with your partner. It’s about creating intentional moments of fun and intimacy—whether it’s a simple walk, a surprise outing, or a creative activity at home. Lovenaps prioritize connection over complexity, showing your partner they’re valued and loved.

My husband, Andy, has been lovenapping me throughout our marriage, and four years ago, he gave it the name “lovenapping.” We love it so much, we’ve made it a shared practice, taking turns planning these moments of connection.

Truth be told, Andy and I laugh, love, and live a lot. We’ve made the conscious choice to pour into each other, and as a result, our marriage thrives. I’m not saying this to paint us as a “super couple” - but we are super about pouring in and you can too.

I’m sharing because choosing to have fun and allowing yourself to embrace life together is the gorilla glue for relationships.

Lovenapping is one of our favorite tools for keeping the spark alive!

Here’s my challenge to you: Lovenap your spouse!

Here’s an example to inspire you:

Last night, Andy texted me at the end of a long day with a simple question:

“Can I invite you out for a lovenap after work?”

As if he needed to ask! He teased me with a hint about how to dress, then whisked me away for an evening of unexpected fun.

It wasn’t expensive. It wasn’t overly planned. But it was thoughtful—and that’s what made it so special.

As someone whose love languages are time and touch, I’m all in when he asks, “Can I invite you out for…?”

This got me thinking about conversations I’ve had with clients. Many have shared a longing to “date” their spouse again—to reignite the spark of spontaneity and intimacy.

Here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be grand or complicated. Start with one small, intentional action:

✨ Ask, “Would you be open to something fun tonight?”

✨ Plan a surprise, even if it’s just a walk, coffee run, or cozy date night at home.

✨ Show your partner they’re worth the thought and effort, no matter how busy life gets.

The joy of impromptu fun isn’t about the activity—it’s about the connection. It’s about being seen, valued, and prioritized.

If you’re craving more spontaneity and intimacy, why not take the first step?

✨ Plan something thoughtful.

✨ Ask the question.

✨ Spark the connection.

I’d love to hear your ideas! What’s one impromptu “date” idea you’d love to try with your partner? Reply back—I’ll compile and share your responses to inspire others.

And if you’re thinking, “That sounds great, but it’s just not happening for us right now...” my friend, I’m here for you. Let’s jump on a call. I’d be honored to hear where you’re feeling stuck and offer free encouragement and actionable tips to help.

Whether you’re navigating an empty nest or still have kids at home, it’s time to bring the fun back!

P.S. Keep reading—I’m sharing 5 Lovenap ideas to help you get started!

Kind Regards,

Heather Hetchler, MA

Here are five thoughtful and fun lovenap ideas:

1. Stargazing Surprise: Pack a blanket, some snacks, and a thermos of hot chocolate or coffee. Head to a quiet spot (a park, a hill, or even your backyard) and spend the evening stargazing together. Bonus: Download a stargazing app to identify constellations!
2. Memory Lane Adventure: Revisit the place where you had your first date or a meaningful spot from your relationship. Share your favorite memories and talk about how far you’ve come.
3. DIY Drive-In Movie Night: Set up a cozy space in your car with blankets and pillows. Bring your laptop or tablet loaded with your favorite movie, grab some popcorn, and park somewhere with a great view.
4. Sunset Walk with a Twist: Choose a scenic location and pack a small picnic with their favorite treat or beverage. Surprise them with a heartfelt note or a playlist you made for them during the walk.
5. Creative Collaboration: Plan a fun project to work on together—a vision board, a puzzle, or a simple craft. Set up a cozy spot at home or head to a coffee shop or library. The joy is in creating something together while connecting.

Each of these ideas is simple, thoughtful, and designed to prioritize your connection—without requiring elaborate planning or expense.

Which one will you try first? 😊