Dear Friend,

Summer is nearly here, and while it’s a season filled with fun and relaxation, it can also bring unique challenges. You’re not alone in feeling the stress that comes with blended family dynamics, co-parenting logistics, and managing vacations. Whether there are young kids in your home or adult children scattered - struggles AND blessings exist.

We’re here to help you navigate these common summer stressors with some practical tips!

I'm sharing the five most common summer stressors for stepmoms and a tip for each. Yeah, I see you. I care about you and I have your back!

1. Managing Blended Family Dynamics

Stressor: Balancing the needs of all family members can be overwhelming. You’re Not Alone: Many stepmoms struggle with finding harmony in a blended family during the summer months.

Tip: Set aside weekly family meetings or group texts to discuss everyone’s plans/expectations. This helps to align schedules and address any concerns proactively. Also, consider releasing yourself from the responsibility of balancing the needs of all family members. I can hear you "if I don't do it, no one will." If this is the case ask yourself, "so what? Why is it so important I do this especially when it causes more stress?" If members don't want to go on vacation together or connect on occasion or plan things, maybe you put things on the calendar and then be "ok" with who shows and also with no shows. Enjoy the time with the reason you are a stepmom - your spouse.

Stressor: Coordinating with biological parents for summer schedules.

You’re Not Alone: The back-and-forth can be a major headache for many stepmoms. Whether this is you coordinating with your ex or with your spouse's ex.

Tip: Use a shared online calendar with the biological parents to keep track of visitation schedules, vacations, and important dates. Clear communication is key! Also, how bout your spouse coordinate with his ex? It may not go as you would like, however, it takes you out of the middle and he gets to experience what it's like to coordinate schedules.

Stressor: Planning trips that everyone enjoys.

You’re Not Alone: It’s tough to please everyone, and the reality is you are not responsible for another's happiness. You can plan the most amazing trip and it doesn't guarantee smiles or fun. It's the complexities that interfere.

Tip: End the above sentence at planning trips (remove that everyone enjoys). Work with your spouse to plan something and go in with a good attitude and snacks. You can't plan a good attitude for another. Also, plan a trip for just you and your spouse too. You might want to build in a day or two after vacation to relax and renew. Sometimes you may need a vacation from the vacation.

Stressor: Interacting with extended family during gatherings.

You’re Not Alone: Stepmoms often feel extra pressure during family reunions or summer breaks when uncommunicated or communicated requests are made for them and their family to visit (or not visit).

Tip: Set clear boundaries with your partner and communicate them to extended family members. Prioritize your immediate family’s comfort and unity. If you and your kids are not welcome, don't go and work with your spouse to communicate a boundary with their family. Consider shifts too. Maybe you visit but stay in a hotel or perhaps the kids stay with grandma and grandpa (if all are treated fairly) and you and your spouse grab a hotel in town. Everyone gets a "fun" night.

Stressor: Finding time for yourself amidst the busy summer schedule.

You’re Not Alone: Every stepmom needs a break, even in summer.

Tip: Schedule “me-time” just like any other important activity. Whether it’s a quiet morning walk or an evening with a good book, make sure you carve out time for self-care. You have to prioritize taking care of YOU!

Need More Help?: Struggling with any of these? Perhaps, you didn't sign the kids up for activities but have been designated the driver.... maybe you planned a trip and now no one wants to go. Let me know your struggles and questions by responding to this email, and I’ll share more strategies.

We hope these tips help you enjoy a smoother, more enjoyable summer with your family. Remember, you’re not alone, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. Also, you are not responsible for whether others enjoy their time. Be kind. Show grace. Choose JOY!

Best Regards,

Heather

Chief Encouragement Officer

Reframing Relationships Team

P.S. Have more questions or need further assistance? Just hit reply! We’re here to help.

Looking for real time coaching to help you transform your experience, join me in ARK Mentoring. Learn how to build the ARK and rise above the drama and emotional flooding in your home. Sign up today: https://reframingrelationships.com/ark