Dear Stepmom Sister,

Financial infidelity is a big deal and something we often don’t talk about. You might not even know this term but you may experience it. This is another area where emotions and finances are intertwined.

First things first, what is financial infidelity? 

Ed Vargo, founder of enlightenHer, and my mentor as a money mindset coach, offers this definition:

“Financial infidelity is when one partner keeps a secret or tells lies that affect the family’s shared finances. If your partner is hiding a secret credit card and racking up debt, has a compulsive online shopping habit they haven’t told you about, or stopped investing in their company retirement plan in defiance of your stated plans – you’ve been a victim of financial infidelity."

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner makes financial decisions without informing or consulting the other, such as giving money to kids or providing financial assistance to an ex-spouse without mutual agreement. It involves any financial action taken unilaterally, creating a lack of transparency in the relationship.

I've heard from both men and women. Husbands giving money to their ex-wives to help the kids while not telling his wife because he doesn't want to upset her. A wife paying for kid's activities while not telling her spouse because she doesn't want the lecture. If either party isn't being completely honest about finances - that is an emotional safety issue in the marriage manifesting in the financial arena. Both areas need addressed.

Ed takes us back to the foundation of a strong relationship:

What is required to make a romantic relationship work? I think most of us would agree love, commitment, and trust are three key ingredients.

If your partner cheats on you with another person, it can be difficult or even impossible to overcome. Once trust is broken in a relationship, it’s hard to recover.

The same is true when it comes to money. If your partner commits financial infidelity and lies about where they’re spending money, the amount of credit card debt they’ve racked up, or gambles your life savings day trading in the stock market, it can be difficult to forgive and forget.

This IS financial infidelity!

Want to learn more about financial infidelity and how to protect yourself?, click here. 

Truth is financial infidelity is rampant in stepfamilies and it’s not because one person CHOOSES to deceive. Often, to avoid arguments, one party (or both) “sneak” money to their kids or ex-spouse. When this type of “untalked about giving” is revealed, regardless of how small or large the amount is, big fights usually ensue.

Maybe your spouse has committed financial infidelity or maybe it’s you.

Regardless of who, now is the time to get your money mindset right while also working to establish a safe space in your marriage to talk about hard things without one person or both making things personal instead of sticking to the issues at hand.

Can you see why I am so passionate about collaborating with enlightenHer? My expertise in reframing and emotional wealth coupled with their rock star status in finances, ensures we help women get emotionally wealthy while getting financially healthy.

How does that sound?

Stay on this journey with me and begin to learn more about financial health. No matter how much or how little you have in your bank, it is imperative to have a healthy money mindset. 

You can click here to schedule a clarity call to learn how money mindset coaching can help you.

Be sure to sign up for the enlightenHer newsletter so you don’t miss a single thing. Yep, I write my newsletter AND contribute to theirs. 

Let's connect and talk about your money mindset and how you can get healthy. Tomorrow, I'll share tips on how to navigate financial infidelity. Be sure to schedule a FREE call with me. Together, we can create a roadmap leading to emotional wealth and financial health.

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please respond to the email and I will get back to you. I'm committed to courageous conversations to guide you on the path to peace both emotionally and financially.

Blessings,

Heather