Hi ,

True or False: You can be assertive and kind at the same time.

Answer: TRUE!

As a recovering "Good Girl" myself, I understand how uncomfortable being assertive can feel.

We nice people don’t want to make waves, we tend to avoid conflict, and we definitely don’t want to disappoint the people close to us, so we often minimize our own needs.

So how do you communicate what you really need in a way that feels true to your kind nature?

Here are 3 Ways to Assert Yourself and Be Kind:

STEP 1- Use Talking Points:

Get clear about your real needs so you know what to say BEFORE you meet. I have seen my communication clients grow more comfortable to ask for what they really need when they plan out their talking points.

The more you “FLEX” your communication muscle, the stronger you will become. You can use my Talking Point Guide to help you HERE

Step 2 - Use Your Communication Superpower!

Did you know that being kind is your communication superpower?

You already have these important communication skills developed to help you to remain calm, thoughtful, and empathetic, however difficult your interaction:

• You are likely a good listener.

• You are emotionally intelligent and easily pick up on social cues.

• You can empathize with other people’s experiences.

Want to use your voice more powerfully?

You can listen to my podcast about how to feel more powerful when you speak, LISTEN HERE

Step 3 - Bullies Are NOT Welcome:

Let’s bust a prevalent myth: You do not have to be a bully to get what you need.

You don’t need to dominate and steamroll the conversation. You don't need to yell, demand, or attack the other person at all.

We are often conditioned to believe that we have two choices when we speak: we either win or we lose. But there is a third option, a Win-Win conversation. We should aim for a win-win in our exchanges when possible.

• Need to ask for a raise? Point out how you add value to the company, and make your boss your ally, so they will go to bat for you.

• Need to set a healthy boundary with your family? Remind them that what you really want is to honor your relationship.

• Need to end a relationship? Be succinct and own your decision. Break up with someone the way you hope someone would break up with you.

Remember, we can say the hard things and still be kind!

Jessica Neighbor

International Voice Coach

P.S.

Do you need my support to have a difficult conversation?

You can schedule your free Difficult Conversation Action Plan Call with me HERE