Hello friend,

Do you know your communication style?

Do you think you are assertive, aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive when you speak?

The most beneficial communication style is to be assertive.

Too often, women are labeled as aggressive when they are genuinely being assertive.

Since society pressures women to be agreeable, we are often labeled as rude or harsh when we speak directly. We may internalize this message and quiet ourselves.

Midlife women have gained wisdom and life experience, and our voices deserve to be heard.

We have so much to say, and when we learn how to communicate our brilliant ideas effectively, watch out, world!

You can practice being assertive in small steps:

• Order your coffee more concisely.
• Make direct eye contact when talking with someone.
• Turn your body and feet directly toward the person you enjoy speaking with at parties.
• Pause or say, “I’ll get back to you,” when someone asks for a work favor.
• Practice saying no more to social invitations unless it is a hell yes.

It takes time and practice, but being direct can be life-changing. Let your community know that you are practicing. You should not have to go it alone.

There are four main communication styles in the public speaking domain:

1. Assertive: Assertive communicators express their thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly while respecting others. They maintain eye contact, use a calm and steady tone, and are good listeners.

2. Aggressive: Aggressive communicators tend to dominate conversations, often at the expense of others. They may use a loud, demanding tone, interrupt, and use confrontational body language.

3. Passive: Passive communicators struggle to express their thoughts and feelings. They may avoid conflict, yield to others, struggle to say no, and set clear boundaries.

4. Passive-Aggressive: Passive-aggressive communicators may appear passive on the surface but express their anger or frustration indirectly. They might use sarcasm, give the silent treatment, or make subtle jabs.

Reflect on your communication habits:

• Why do you think you use this communication style?
• Does your current communication style serve you well?
• Are your communication habits in alignment with your authentic voice and values?

“I don’t know what I sound like.”

If you are unsure which communication style you use most often, ask a close friend or relative who knows you well and whom you trust for feedback.

Want to learn how to improve your communication habits with me?

You can get personalized speaking feedback from me!

For just $27, you’ll get:

• A laser-focused, twenty-five-minute Zoom call with me to refine your speaking skills.
• Personalized feedback on your tone, clarity, and presence so you can command attention and respect.
• A transparent process to help you speak confidently in any high-pressure situation, complete with an action plan and a recording.

Get Speaking Feedback Here!

Stay Calm & Speak On,

Jessica

P.S. If you’re curious about the Love Your Voice 2026 Small Group Training Program and want to start the year speaking with more calm and confidence, make sure to fill out this form: https://forms.gle/3qJru79yzaRyWwZE8