Hello ,
Happy New Year! This year, I’m being trendy and choosing my word for 2023, like everyone on social media seems to be doing. My word is Reconnect.
I chose it because I’ve lost connection with some parts of myself that I enjoy and I’ve disconnected from the city I live in. The past few years have been distant for me, even though I’m only just realizing how much.
In November, I attended Surrey International Writer’s Conference for the first time. I went into it with big hopes that I’d leave with a clear direction for my writing. That I’d regain my passion and my usual drive to achieve whatever goal I set out for myself. That when I sat down to write one of my many ideas, it would no longer feel flat and void of life.
Instead, the conference broke me.
Ironically, it was Liza Palmer’s session on “Getting Out of Your Creative Rut” that did me in. She had us write a letter to our current self from our future self one year from then. My mind went blank. I had nothing to share from the future. I couldn't even picture it—and I can always picture the future in some form. As I struggled against surging tears from my sudden overwhelm of nothingness, I noticed not everyone in the room was writing. I didn’t have to write this letter. It was just an exercise, after all, and sometimes an exercise isn’t the right one. It was okay. My sense of dread passed and finally Liza called time and moved on.
But I didn’t move on.
I’d been shaken—finally, and enough so—and I knew I wasn’t going to write anything original for a while. At first, I railed against this idea, but after a few good chats with fellow conference goers, I realized I’d never truly taken a break after the pandemic forced me into prolonged double time at work. I’d never come back down from that stress level.
I needed a break—a real break.
I needed to refill the creative well. I needed to just be again, so I could remember who I was and learn who I am now. I needed to reconnect with my past selves, the ones who perceived me in a certain way. The ones who knew my identity.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing, and what I’m going to continue doing.
Right now, I’m reading. Like…a lot. I read four books in December alone, plus nearly finished two more. I admittedly never was much of a reader after elementary school, so I’m becoming one as an adult finally. It’s a blast! If you want, you can friend me on Goodreads and follow along with my 30 books in 2023 Challenge…I’d love your recommendations!
Hopefully, I’ll see you there and on Instagram or Facebook, and probably here again in a few months.
Until then,
Lorena
(p.s. - let me know your word for 2023 if you chose one!)
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