Whatsup Exceptionalist!?

Happy Monday! 

I’ve got something to level up your consistency and focus today! 

One of the most difficult things for us struggling with ADHD is to stick with something long-term without bouncing all over the planet with new impulsive ideas and hobbies.

It’s not unusual for us to find something that dramatically piques our interest, creating a big rabbit hole for us to dive down headfirst in search of overnight mastery in that thing. This is caused by what’s called “ hyper fixation “. 

New and exciting ideas and interests are like cocaine to an ADHD’er. We get our first few bumps and are absolutely wired and dialed into what we’ve just discovered.

But as we keep taking more and more cocaine, eventually the effect starts to become less profound, and we become tired and exhausted from the drug and need to recover.

Once we recover and the next fresh opportunity presents itself, there we are again, face down on a glass table.

When discovering a new hobby or interest, the beginning is often the most stimulating part of that short journey.

This is because our brains can idealize the SHIT out of that thing.

We can imagine everything in our minds, including the potential of the thing, the visualization of us being good at it, the admiration we’ll receive from our peers for being good at it, and so on.

In a way, this is what makes life more exciting for us ADHD’ers and that’s a beautiful thing. 

But the biggest downside that this presents in our lives is the counterproductive effect this has on truly getting to the high levels that we idealize with these new and sudden interests. 

The harsh truth of life is that you cannot be exceptional at anything worth being exceptional at in 24 hours.

Crazy right? I know. 

It’s easy to convince ourselves we can, but a lot of that is naive hubris that often comes from the sheer intensity of focus during phases of hyper-fixation.

With that in mind, as a fellow ADHD’er who has struggled with this my whole life, I thought I’d share some ways that have helped me stick with the things that truly matter in the long term.

My goal by the end of this newsletter is to give you some practical lessons that can help you become exceptional in your field and/or in your hobbies.

Let’s start by discussing some questions to help you identify the things in your life that are truly worth sticking with. 

3 Questions That Help Guide Me On The Path To Discovering What I Want To Be Doing Most:

#1 Out Of All The Random Hobbies And Sudden Interests I Have, What Do I End Up Returning To Most?

Think of this as the magnetic center of all your sporadic activities. This magnetic pull doesn’t need to be intense; it can be slow and gradual. It just has to be a regularity in your life.

Take a moment with a pen and paper to reflect on the things you always return to, even amidst the randomness, if only for a moment. Discovering this can help you narrow your focus and choose something more reliable.

# 2 What Is Something I’ve Cared About Enough To Get Really Good At, Which Has Had A Big Positive Impact On My Life? 

Most of us ADHD’ers have one or two things that we REALLY REALLY care about or enjoy. So much so, that we actually got pretty damn good at it, relative to all of the other unfinished and forgotten things in our life.

This thing may have been buried under a pile of hyperfixations since you first encountered it, but it’s still there, waiting for you to take it to the next level—to take it to mastery

Take some time to remind yourself of what this could be. Once you discover it, it could be the one thing you’re destined to be exceptional at, and it’ll be interesting enough to keep you going even when it gets hard. 

# 3 What Are My Biggest Talents? What Would My Friends And Family Say I’m A ‘Natural’ At?

All of us have remarkable qualities; you probably just haven’t capitalized on yours yet.

Perhaps you currently lack the self-awareness to discover this about yourself, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

But it’s not an excuse either.

Take this opportunity to ask your friends and family, ‘What is something I’m really good at?’

If your friends and family can’t answer this, you’re either talking to the wrong people or need to get out more.

Either way, someone is bound to know you well enough to answer this question in a way you can work with.

Once you have that insight, you can start to dive deeper into these natural talents and potentially discover your life’s purpose.

The Emotional Cycle Of Change & You:

The emotional cycle of change is a classic visual representation of how the desire to make meaningful changes in our lives affects us psychologically over time.

Many of us without ADHD rarely ever make it past stage 3.

With ADHD I rarely ever make it past stage 2. 

In my opinion, this happens because stage 1 is so intense for me, often leading me to quickly fall back to stage 1 with something new, like a roller coaster.

Hyperfixation is like a dump truck malfunctioning, dumping all its contents in a single second, whereas a 'normal' brain functions like a well-working dump truck, gradually releasing its load over time.

In my opinion, stage 2 is often insurmountable for us because of the sensitivity of our brains after an intense output of resources, combined with rejection sensitivity. 

The post-hyperfixation tired ADHD brain loathes the true challenge of exceptionalism, while rejection sensitivity drives us to retreat back into our comfort zones, as the risk of being bad ( or even worse, being recognized as bad ) at something frightens us into inaction.

For those of us who do manage to get past stage 2, stage 3 is like stage 2 " extended edition "

It’s further marked by anxiety, potential boredom, and the persistent temptation to chase shiny new distractions, which can lead us completely off course, sometimes never to return.

This cycle can make us feel like we just aren’t destined for greatness, that exceptionalism is simply out of our reach, and that perhaps we’re not genetically inclined to such things. 

Well, I disagree with that theory and I think that a mindset like that will only plunge you further under the suffocating waters of victimhood, and irresponsibility, breed cynicism, and keep you paralyzed. 

While ADHD is a reason and not an excuse, In my opinion, it’s not a reason to give up on being exceptional in something you want to do in your life.

You just need to work smarter, not harder. 

How I Stick to What Matters Long Enough to Improve:

Make The Same Thing New In As Many Ways As Possible. 

Generally, things we want to get REALLY good at don’t require just a single skill to reach the highest level in that industry.

For example, as a personal trainer, simply knowing how to do a squat properly is not going to make me the best coach in the world.

I have to know and be above average at a multitude of skills that surround being the best coach I can be—things like marketing, sales, psychology, client management, software, business management, entrepreneurship, etc.

See what I mean?

At first glance, the thought of studying and practicing so many things to become exceptional at one thing can be overwhelming.

But if you look at it from a different perspective, you might realize this is the best part of mastering something as an ADHD’er.

It gives us the chance to do and learn something new every day, all related to the ‘end game’ outcome.

In my experience, whenever mastery was linear and narrow, I quickly lost interest. But what I’m doing now keeps my ADHD brain constantly stimulated with exciting and interesting topics, all fueling a single goal.

This approach has been a game changer for me, helping me stick with it for the last five years, despite the ups and downs.

Take Breaks From The Thing, But Make It Intentional, Goal Oriented, And With Clear Timelines To Return. 

Sometimes, when dealing with ADHD, you just need a break—time to clear your mind from overstimulation, decompress, and release the tightness in your chest that builds up from anxiety and hyperfocus sessions.

Sometimes the best breaks are the ones where you completely separate from something and then return later refreshed and full of great new ideas. 

In his book “ Rest “ Alex Soojung-Kim Pang talks about the “ DMN “ ( Default Mode Network ) that occurs in our brains during periods of rest and makes some pretty profound points. 

The most relatively important of which is that we are misled into believing that in moments of inactivity, our brains are less active than when we’re focused on a task or intentionally trying to be creative. 

During downtimes, when we enter the default mode network (DMN), this switch from active to DMN can happen as suddenly as when we stop focusing on something, like flipping a light switch. 

When this happens, Our brains are actually just as active, if not more than when we are engaged in something, but in different ways.

The difference is, that when the brain is in a DMN state, it’s more open and flexible, allowing us to think about big ideas and approach current tasks more productively.

As Alex says in the book, “Task-unrelated thinking is inward-focused and unconnected to external activity.” 

So this DMN state which happens in our brains during periods of rest, is often more necessary than we realize to craft our best ideas and get the most productive perspectives in our lives. 

So when you feel you need a break, take it, and understand it can be a tool, not always a waste of time.

Whether it’s for a few minutes, hours, weeks, or even months, intentionally schedule or allow times to give your brain as little external influence as possible. 

Approach it with a goal in mind, focusing on questions you’ve been struggling to answer about yourself or your career/projects.

Be patient with your answers. Alex explains in the book that the stage where we often ‘stumble’ upon those ‘AHA’ moments is called the ‘illumination’ stage of subconscious problem-solving.

It turns out these moments are not as sudden as they seem but result from many gears turning in the background leading up to the ‘AHA’ moment.

He notes that these epiphanies can be easily interrupted if you try to force them. So, stay engaged in other activities and let the insights come to you naturally.

After these periods of rest, ensure you have a pre-determined or conscious time to return to your work.

This way, you can hold yourself accountable for staying on track and avoid daydreaming yourself into stagnation or decline.

Develop Discipline Through Doing Other Hard Things Consistently.

Discipline is probably the most if not one of the most, important character traits an ADHD’er can develop in their lifetime.

This is based mainly on my personal experience, as well as observing other ADD/ADHD’ers transform their lives and countless books on the subject.

Discipline is not something you simply learn though; it’s something you practice.

You can’t just read a book, or even this newsletter on discipline and become disciplined.

It takes time and repetition.

As you practice, tasks that once required significant discipline will become second nature. The hardest part is reaching that point when developing new habits.

The momentum you build from tackling difficult tasks will carry over into your work, making it easier to maintain discipline, stay focused, and consistently execute the behaviors needed to optimize your performance.

The more you dial in, the less your ADHD symptoms will hinder you, allowing you to function more autonomously with greater self-awareness and control.

Discipline, in its simplest definition, isn’t just about doing things you don’t want to do. It’s much deeper—it’s the essential life skill of separating feelings from behavior.

This ability distinguishes the good from the exceptional.

I’m not just saying this because I’m disciplined and think it’s cool; every exceptional person has had to use discipline to reach their level. 

Period.

Elite discipline is developed through confidence in the alignment between what you say you will do and actually doing it.

Confidence grows from keeping your promises to yourself.

This feedback loop fosters machine-like discipline, with or without ADHD. ADHD is a largely emotionally driven disorder, and it takes discipline to manage it and construct a life that supports and works with it rather than against it.

Doing genuinely hard things is one of the best ways to sharpen the skills needed to be exceptional. 

With ADHD, it’s crucial to start small and build momentum gradually. One of the biggest mistakes ADHD’ers make is trying to do too much too soon, a common result of our tendency for hyperfixation.

As Jordan Peterson wisely said, “Sometimes people never see the light of God because they don’t look low enough.”

Humble yourself, tackle something challenging FOR YOU just outside YOUR comfort zone every day, and watch yourself become a goal-crushing machine.

During Periods Of Less Accomplishment, Do Easy Things And Use Them For Motivation To Keep Doing Hard Things. 

Sometimes, despite all the “hurrah” of discipline and hustle culture, we face burnout or encounter events outside our control that bring tragedy or chaos into our lives.

The key during these times, I’ve found, is to meet yourself where you are instead of trying to immediately return to where you were before.

Sometimes, your higher self or the person you were before the current event needs to reach down and pull you out of the hole you’re in.

That’s okay—it's a part of life. We’re not perfect; we’re human.

Just like I always say about fitness, “It’s not always about winning; sometimes it’s just about staying in the game.

To stay on track with your long-term goals, you must be able to roll with the punches and not let your ego prevent you from getting back on your feet after being knocked down.

Conclusion:

Sticking to something long-term is harder for ADHD’ers but it is NOT impossible. 

You could argue that it takes more work for the ADHD’er to achieve the same result as someone without it. 

You might be right.

But my question to you is…

And? 

What are you going to do about it? 

Are you going to sit back and let life happen to you or are you going to let it happen for you? 

To paraphrase the wise words of Retired Navy Seal, Jocko Willink - “ When something tries to get in your way, When something tries to stop you. When you receive news that the task you’re trying to complete is going to be a lot harder than you thought. No matter how daunting the obstacle may be, you look at it directly and you say…

“ Good “ 

 Thank you for reading. :)

Weekly Wisdom - "You must convince yourself of the following: people get the mind and quality of brain that they deserve through their actions in life." (Robert Greene, Mastery)

Physical Fun Fact - Your Brain Has More Connections Than There Are Stars in the Milky Way: The human brain has about 86 billion neurons, and each one can connect to thousands of others, leading to roughly a quadrillion connections—more than the stars in our galaxy!

Be exceptional, 

Leon.