One of the most common downfalls for ambitious ADHD’ers is that, because of hyper-fixation, they do WAY too much too soon.

When they realize their life isn’t what they want it to be and take action, that action is usually extremely intense, driven mostly by stress.

There’s not much logic or strategy behind it; it’s a short-term obsession with busyness to distract us from the negative emotions that initiated the desire for change. 

That’s not real change—that’s just a pacifying theater act.

Usually, between 2 weeks to 3 months, you burn out and then are broken down further by the realization that you didn’t really build anything to begin with.

You did something, but you struggle to come out the other side with anything permanent.

This leaves you confused and defeated because you can’t comprehend what’s wrong with you, that you can behave so intensely and yet can’t make meaningful long-term change.

The problem isn’t you, it’s your approach.

Meaningful change starts and builds slowly.

Slowly weaving together behavior change through a series of smaller decisions in the direction of a larger goal.

The problem with this reality for ADHD’ers is that we struggle massively with delayed gratification.

When that stress response activates and hyper-fixation kicks in, we want what we want RIGHT NOW.

This is more of a subconscious attempt to alleviate the stress response than it is a committed call to action.

If we don’t get it, we feel like failures and think we must not deserve it because otherwise, we’d have it already, right?

No, that’s not right.

The universe doesn’t care about what you deserve; it only responds to the actions you implement on a regular basis.

You don’t have to deserve it to be successful.

If you alter your perception and approach behavior change with more patience and strategy, you’ll be able to start building momentum through small wins, eventually creating an unstoppable boulder of success.

These small wins, if the level of challenge is just right, can help fight off the agonizing sense of delayed gratification we face as ADHD’ers.

The key is meeting yourself where you’re at and not trying to be what you see someone else as today.

They are not you. They may be similar, but they don’t have your specific wants, needs, and requirements.

Only you know where you are and what you can do to start getting the ball rolling.

So don’t try to get ahead of yourself, or else you’ll likely crush yourself right before you’re about to make real change.

Now that this warning is out of the way and we’re on the same page, I’ll start getting into the good stuff tomorrow—the more practical advice on how to start building the boulder.

See you tomorrow.