Carolina Perez Sanz, PhD by Carolina Perez Sanz

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Where did you leave your compassion?

The more you want to save others, the less compassion you show

#418 – Where did you leave your compassion?

I thought I could save my son, help him reintegrate into normal life, motivate him to be productive.


But what I was doing was disregarding his need for and right to happiness.


This morning, I had to do some mental yoga to avoid screaming at him––once again––because he'd grabbed an Uber instead of using public transportation.


Once he was home and I saw his smile as he stirred the crema in his Nespresso cold brew-style coffee, a wave of happiness washed over me.


This is it, I realized. Reintegration isn't about doing things on a schedule, chop-chop (that's the Ghost of Exertion speaking). It's about enjoying freedom first, and relearning to live as a free man later.


He's happy just to be free, yet my Ego-driven optimization agenda kept pressuring him to move, do, change!


Hearing him laugh with something he was watching, I felt a cozy warmth in my cheeks and throat. I relaxed. This isn't tragic or sad. This is a moment of celebration, because he's free after surviving 10 months in unthinkable conditions.


If I want him to thrive, I need to understand and allow his joy. Allowing him to be happy isn't spoiling him. It's compassion.


What control will you release to make room for compassion?


Love,

Carolina

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