#99 – How to quiet the Ghost of Missed Opportunity?

Regret is futile: it leads nowhere and only leaves you feeling sad. But what’s the alternative? This morning, I discovered it.

I was putting away the spices my son and I had used for our tofu scramble, when the bottle of garlic powder slipped from my hand. As it hit the tile floor, it cracked into two clean pieces, the bottom rolling away, leaving a sticky white trail behind.

Without any particular emotion, I walked over to grab the broom and dustpan.

And then it struck me: I wasn’t feeling anything! No "damn!" or "if you weren’t such an optimizer..." or "you should’ve been more careful!" went through my mind.

Normally, I would have been flooded with regret, my face red with equal parts shame and anger —ingrained after years of rebukes from parents, teachers, bosses, older siblings, even friends. That familiar 'should’ve/could’ve/would’ve' script telling me that if I had only paid more attention, been less sloppy, or less impulsive, I could have avoided the mess.

In short, I could avoid all mistakes—if only I were perfect!

It's not the mishap that we regret. It's the missed opportunity to be perfect.

Pulling the strings is the Ghost of Missed Opportunity—one of the Ego’s cronies. It'll make you think that mistakes are dangerous, that failure is life-threatening, and that playing small is safer than risking failure by aiming big.

So, how can we quiet this GOMO? We let go. Instead of obsessively searching for the 'lesson' in every little mistake, we acknowledge that we’re human—and inherently imperfect. Sometimes things just happen, and that's that.

Something inconvenient happened? Well, it happened. So be it. Accept it as part of the process, let it go, and move on.

What could you free yourself from if you quit regretting the past?

Love, 

Carolina