#203 – What feels scariest: failure or success?

Most people think that only fear of failure paralyzes us. It's not true. Self-sabotage is precisely how our Ghosts and Ego work against our success, and they do it because they're scared – which makes us scared.

I know I've suffered from fear of success for years. That's why, whenever the stakes were high, I've done things that have made it impossible that I succeed.

Such as:

• Not preparing for oral presentations at scientific conferences
• Not re-submitting papers that had been admitted to peer-review publications with minor edits
• Not rehearsing for communication training workshops I was leading in front of demanding audiences

From behind the scenes, the Ghost of Need to Prove convinced me that, if I succeeded at something, then I'd need to prove it wasn't a fluke and that I could replicate that initial success.

But that seemed like an impossible feat. So, why not end the torture right away and avoid any possibility of success?

In contrast, I've never feared failure. I was so used to my Ego's ever-present questioning my ambitions – "who do you think you are?" and "where do you think you're going?" – that I almost expected to fail.

Because, at the end of the day, failure takes you off the hook – so you can shake the dust off your hands and move on.

But when you succeed, you have to keep showing up and keep your standards high.

Fear of failing is selfish: it gives you a place to hide.

Trying to succeed (without bailing out, even when you're scared) is generous, because it keeps you on the hook, and people count on you.

Where might you be hiding from success and how will you show up?

Love,

Carolina