#225 – How might you be defending yourself?

This morning, the A Course In Miracles* lesson I read was, "If I defend myself, I am attacked."

When a few hours later I was doing dishes, the idea came to me that I defend myself way more than I'm aware of. And that surrendering means putting all – and I mean all – defenses down, even those that seem minimal or even necessary.

I realized there are parts of my life where I still don't feel "safe," thus I'm not fully surrendering, and thus, I'm maintaining my defenses up.

For example:

• Every time I need to catch a bus, I fear missing it – and so I stress and rush and over-plan
• When I work my weekend job selling coffee machines, I fear I won't sell as much as I'm expected to – so I tense up
• If I'm baking brownies (like I'm doing right now), I fear they'll turn up over- or undercooked – so I hesitate, second-guess, overthink
• If I eat more than I think I should, or things I think I shouldn't, I fear I'll get fat and/or unhealthy – so I feel sad and remorseful

Thanks to this new awareness, I'm now more prepared to stop grasping with the illusion that it keeps me safe. I'll keep self-investigating to find areas where I might be clinging for fear of catastrophe.

So that I can fully let go and take my power back from the greedy hands of the Ego and the Ghosts.

Where in your life might you be defending yourself and thus blocking progress?

Love,

Carolina

*A Course In Miracles is a training that helps people change their minds and how they interact with themselves and the world. It's spiritual but not religious, or not specific to any particular religion.