Carolina Perez Sanz, PhD by Carolina Perez Sanz

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When are you most vulnerable to quitting?

Watch out: the Ghosts of Idea Deflection and Not Following Up are always ready

#325 – When are you most vulnerable to quitting?

I've seen it (and done it) countless times: you say you're going to write every day, or work out four times a week, or do yoga every Wednesday.


And soon, poof!, the determination evaporates and you're left with yet another failed project.


That's because your Ego has taken you to a chaise lounge by the pool, patting you on the back while offering you a margarita––you did a great job committing, now relax.


Why did that happen? Because the idea itself felt rewarding––a big dopamine hit. Then the commitment gave you the powerful sense that you were in charge. And you did relax, but your commitment had yet to be lived.


Meanwhile, the Ego was working. It directed the Ghosts to hide behind the curtains and the couches, while allowing you to do your thing for a few days.


Then, one day, still empowered by your "I've got this" feeling, you go into your living room and, surprise!, the Ghosts receive you touting their fringe blowouts and jutting colorful streamers above your head.


They lure you in to the party, no work today because, remember? You've got this. Take a break! Do your yoga tomorrow––after all, yoga doesn't know what day it is!


And because the habit isn't yet built, you slip. You forget about your project, unable to find your commitment under all the confetti and cookie crumbs. And it's only when three or thirteen days have passed that you remember your idea. But it's too late. The Ghost of Misplaced Shame, also at the party, shrugs at you, shaking its head.


Another goal gets abandoned, just like that.


To accomplish anything, don't think, merely do. Build a habit by keeping at it, blinders on, for at least 30 days in a row.


A solid habit will make you pass on surprises and shiny objects the Ghosts may want to attract you with.


Where do you need to build strong habits so that commitments withstand the Ghosts when they show up?


Love,

Carolina

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