#378 – What pushes you to ration your empathy?

Some people believe that empathy can be toxic: that showing it to one person takes it away from another.

That belief is what's toxic.

If empathy were a finite resource, then we'd sure need to be careful whom we showed it to. But it's not. Empathy is like coffee refills in a midwestern diner (minus the hon-calling waitress): endless.

So, what makes you think you have to be stringent with your empathy?

Your Ego and the Ghosts, our usual suspects.

They'll tell you that someone who did a "bad" thing (yourself included) deserves punishment, not empathy. That if you show that person empathy, you're a doormat, and that you're condoning bad behavior (which, no doubt, they can distinguish from good).

They'll convince you that people'll take advantage of your good heart, and call you "naïve."

All lies!

Your empathy is for you, the health of your own heart, your healing, and growth.

And because it's a feeling, not a thing, it's infinite. You could literally stand in the middle of Times Square at Christmas, doling it out like there's no tomorrow, and you'd never run out.

You can give it to the person who hurt you badly, and to the person who loves you the most. To that neighbor that looks you up and down every time they see you, and to the nice lady who fell ill with food poisoning. To the person who doesn't pick up after their dog and to the delivery guy who takes the heavy boxes of cat litter up the stairs to your door.

And every time you do, you add a little boost to your own health.

Where in your life can you open your empathy purse?

Love,

Carolina