Carolina Perez Sanz, PhD by Carolina Perez Sanz

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Who would you be without fear?

Fear makes us do stupid things––why do we keep obeying it?

#281 – Who would you be without fear?

Fear, psychologists say, is a self-protective emotion. You spot a sabertooth tiger and run like crazy to find refuge.


In such a context, yes, fear may protect you.


But we don't live like that anymore––most of us don't, anyway. And even if we did, fear wouldn't be as helpful as a cold head to deal with the situation.


So, if you didn't feel fear, how would you live?


I grew up scared. My sister enjoyed telling me horror stories so that I'd cry and beg her to stop.


I also learned fear from my father: every night, I saw him look under the bed before going to sleep––to make sure there were no monsters, he said.


His fear was a habit, which spilled to all aspects of his life. Fear of saying the wrong thing in public, fear of not making his friends laugh, fear of my not being successful to his standards, etc. I also learned that.


But what's the use of this kind of fear? None. It's only a win of the Ego, the self-proclaimed protector in your mind.


Fear disguises itself as the logical way to prevent a catastrophe. If I make the wrong decision, if I take the wrong step, I'll suffer, the Ego tells me. So I procrastinate. I don't act. Or I behave in ways that end up causing more harm.


By doing this, I'm telling fear it's boss. Every time I obey the limitations my Ego tries to impose on me, I elevate fear to a more dominant position.


When my son caused harm to the person who attacked him, he was dominated by fear. He let it rule his decision. If he had looked fear in the eye and told him "I see you, fear, but I'm not taking your orders," he'd now be free.


I think this applies to all of us: when we don't take orders from fear, we're free.


What would be different in your life if you said 'no' to fear?


Love,

Carolina


PS: Book II in the series, Going Deeper Into Your Power, is available to purchase in e-book and paperback formats. Thank you.

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