Give to Receive

“The Master has no possessions. The more he does for others, the happier he is. The more he gives to others, the wealthier he is.” (Lao Tzu)

How often we think happiness lies in possessions, or in having others do things for us, or in amassing wealth. How can we possibly amass wealth if we give it away? But what if we’ve got it back to front? The Tao Te Ching (chapter 81) reminds us the Master sees it differently. It’s not about him – it’s about others. Happiness and wealth follow; they cannot be grasped.

“Give to Receive” is a strange title for a newsletter. It comes from trying to think the opposite of “If You Want It, Go Get it” which seems to be the default way we approach trying to change our circumstances. This newsletter explores why this might be, and why it typically doesn’t work. And, by the way, what does the Master think he’s doing?

Let’s start by wondering why we’re often not happy with the way things are. The obvious answer is because they could be better. “Better” is, of course, a trap because things could always be better regardless of how good they might already be. This means the search for “better” is an endless quest. But let’s leave that aside for the moment.

Also, let’s assume the basic necessities of life are already met, i.e., food, clothing, shelter, etc. This is a big assumption, of course, because if they’re not already met then it’s pretty clear what “better” looks like. But let’s leave that aside too.

The issue I’d like to explore is not so much what “better” looks like, or the fact that it’s a constantly moving target, rather it’s about how we go about trying to make it so. And I think the key word is “try.” Here’s how our thinking goes. We’re here, “better” is over there. So if we want it, then we need to go and get it. Why? Because it’s obviously not here yet. (That’s what I meant earlier by “If You Want It, Go Get It.”) Will we succeed? Who knows? But we’re told we’ll never succeed if we don’t try. At least, that’s what we’ve learned so far.

Let’s explore how this thinking works. We start by imagining some version of reality other than the one which is here right now. We then decide the imagined version is better that the current one; and then get to work on the current version to change it into the imagined one. That’s how we “try” to makes things better. It’s not complicated. What’s more, if we don’t get it right the first time we’ve learned to “try, try again.”

Take the simple case of a possession we don’t have yet. We imagine a future in which we have it; and then start doing things to bring that future into the present. By the way, who are we doing this for? Ourselves, of course. That’s not complicated either. But in the case of Lao Tzu’s Master, we’re told “The more he does for others, the happier he is…”

So, how come he’s the one who is happier when what he’s doing is for others? And what about things more general than possessions? Like wealth, for example. If we have enough of that we can surely get any possession we want. Yet we’re told for Lao Tzu’s Master “The more he gives to others, the wealthier he is.” What on earth is going on?

Here’s what I think may be going on. And it starts with asking a question. Where are we coming from when we act? What do we care about? If we’re coming from ourselves, and what we care about is ourselves, then happiness and wealth will be forever beyond our reach. But if we start by centering ourselves in the Tao, and let that be the only thing we care about, then everything changes.

Not so fast. Let’s first look at how everything changes, and then back up and look at what I mean by that last sentence.

Here’s how everything changes. “Therefore the Master takes action by letting things take their course. He remains as calm at the end as at the beginning. He has nothing, thus has nothing to lose. What he desires is non-desire; what he learns is to unlearn. He simply reminds people of who they have always been. He cares about nothing but the Tao. Thus he can care for all things” (chapter 64).

There’s that point again about him having no possessions (“he has nothing”). And the point about him not desiring wealth, or anything else for that matter (“what he desires is non-desire”). And the point about him having to forget about trying to succeed (“what he learns is to unlearn”). What’s left? What does he care about?

“He cares about nothing but the Tao” which is the Oneness/Wholeness that is everything. This is why in caring for it “he can care for all things.” And, by the way, this is nothing new (he “simply reminds people of who they have always been”). And what happens when he does so? “The more he does for others, the happier he is. The more he gives to others, the wealthier he is.”

Oh, so if happiness and wealth are the target then does the Master hit it by deliberately not aiming at it? No, I don’t think so. It’s more like he’s aware there is no target. There is only the Tao. Even happiness and wealth are not targets, or things you aim at, or try to go and get – they come to you. And they do so precisely when you don’t aim at them and instead focus on pretty much anything other than yourself.

Okay. How about that earlier sentence? We’ve seen “how everything changes.” So, what did I mean by “If we start by centering ourselves in the Tao...”?

I’ll use Lao Tzu’s image of the center of the circle. Whenever we see ourselves as separate, we’re not at the center. Instead, we’re coming from our separate selves and desiring whatever we think would make our personal world “better” in some way. This puts us on the edge of the circle. We’re “here” and better is “there.”

When we let go of our selves there’s no longer any separation so we naturally return to the center of the circle. That’s when everything changes. Here and there disappear. This means our actions are no longer driven by a desire to be “there.” We’re no longer trying to grasp happiness and wealth, or anything else for that matter. Instead, everything simplifies. Peace and serenity lie at the center. This is why the Master “remains as calm at the end as at the beginning.” No trying is needed. The Master is already at the center (he never left it).

“The Master gives himself up to whatever the moment brings… He doesn’t think about his actions; they flow from the core of his being” (chapter 50). And what’s at the core of his being? The Tao. And where’s he (or she) coming from? “The Master sees things as they are, without trying to control them. She… resides at the center of the circle” (chapter 29).

Hmm, for me that’s a lot to take in. It seems there’s a lot of unlearning I need to do. Happiness and wealth are things that come to me, not things I try and go after? I’m going to have to think about that. Actually, the more I think about it the less sense the title of this newsletter makes. “Give to receive” – where’s the sense in that? Hmm, perhaps thinking is what keeps me on the edge of the circle.

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Francis

IN OTHER NEWS...

Past newsletters are here: www.francispringmill.com/newsletter-archive

In Harmony with the Tao: A Guided Journey into the Tao Te Ching is available here. There Is No Somewhere Else: Insights from the Tao Te Ching is available here.

Synopses and reviews for both books are on www.francispringmill.com/books

If you have enjoyed my books and have a spare couple of minutes, I'd love it if you could leave an Amazon review so more people can discover them. (The customer review link for In Harmony with the Tao is here, and for There Is No Somewhere Else is here.)