Ever heard from your parents about pagpapalaglag?
Have you ever attempted it or thought of it?
Guilty of having cheating before or after his betrayal?
I remember the time when I knew I was pregnant.
I was so lost.
I knew mali ang pre-marital sex yet I was blinded.
Di ko napanindigan ang bilin ng mama ko.
Although he was the only man I've been one with... I still blamed myself sa lahat ng feeling kong consequences ng decisions ko.
But today, I was reminded and comforted by God.
Nadaanan ko na to sa journey ko the last time.
Naka highlight kasi.
But mas tumatak ang importance nya sa akin today.
So I want to SHARE this to you deeper to hopefully bring this enlightenment to you.
This may be long...
But trust me sis... this might be an eye opener to you.
Numbers 5:
11 Then the Lord said to Moses,
12 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13 so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure— 15 then he is to take his wife to the priest.
He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.
16 “‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord.
17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water.
18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse.
19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you.
20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell.
22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”
“‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”
23 “‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water.
24 He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her.
25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the Lord and bring it to the altar.
26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water.
27 If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.
28 If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.
29 “‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband,
30 or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the Lord and is to apply this entire law to her.
31 The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’”
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Very specific ang instruction about being faithful ng isang asawa di ba? Pati ang consequence or ang pagbibigay ng curse sa kanya.
Although di naman ako nag physically cheat sa partner ko... grabe ang impact ng instruction na to sa akin.
I remember kasi the time when he brought those bark of trees sa apartment ko para ilaga ko.
Passes nya noon and he made sure nalaga ko bago sya umalis.
It pains me but I felt our baby was rejected so I needed to do it.
Even if napa graduate ko na ang kapatid ko sa college with our elder sister's help noon, I still felt bad.
I feel like I'm not ready to be a mom.
I didn't plan it.
Tapos nasa training pa sya and bread winner ng family.
Ayokong maging burden sa kanya.
I remember how I sipped that bitter scarlet liquid "alone" inside my apartment and how my body rejected it in seconds.
And I remember how he told me to try it again and just sip it slowly.
I was so heartbroken at that time.
Then, when I did it the 2nd time, my body rejected it again.
I couldn't explain the feeling.
I felt miserable.
Hindi ko mawari noon bakit sobrang iyak ko asking "SORRY" to God.
That was my turning point.
Told myself I would make sure the baby live even if ayaw sa kanya ng lahat.
Until I had the courage to open up about my pregnancy to one of my sisters.
Sobrang iyak ko when she immediately told me the baby is a blessing.
And that di ko dapat ipalaglag.
I knew it was wrong in the beginning.
But because of depression and anxiety the moment conception, I made that decision.
May times whenever I remember that event, napapaluha pa rin ako.
Kasi I knew my son already felt the rejection sa tyan pa lang.
But I knew it's NOT the end of the world.
That's why ginawa ko ang lahat to eat healthy and live healthy the moment I decided to help him live.
And I prayed so hard na wala syang defect paglabas.
And going back...
Today, I had so much clarity why despite the TWO ATTEMPTS of aborting him, he lived.
It's as if God was telling me this morning that He saw my heart's purity even if I wasn't perfect.
That I was still "CLEAN" in his eyes.
I was faithful to my partner and am "guilt free" of any accusation kasi sya at sya lang ang naka angkin sa akin.
Now your story may be different.
But today, I want to remind you that curses thrive.
And it may not only be up to 4th generation.
That's why it's important we break the curse.
And it's important we NOT DO ANY ADDITIONAL curses during our time.
Lalo na after betrayal.
Kasi alam kong super dami ng temptations para maging marupok ka.
Lalo na if kasal kayo.
So today, I want to speak blessings to you.
I'm declare, in Jesus name... all the curses of your ancestors, all curses given to you, your family and your generation is broken.
II break all generational curses in your lineage and the lineage of your children. In JESUS NAME. AMEN.
I need you to agree with me for my declaration to have positive effect on you. Please say that SAME DECLARATION and believe in your heart that it's happening.
And let Jesus' life mirror in yours. And I encourage you to keep reading your bible to be enlightened and have the best instruction while you're here on earth.
Reply "BLESSINGS" to this email after your verbal declaration.
God bless you and your family sis.
To your peace and joy,
FJ Lapera
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