Yesterday, we finally bid goodbye to our grandma's physical body .
Well, I say physical because her memories would always be treasured forever.
Basically, she still lives in my heart.
One remarkable thing our lola had experienced before her death is saying "SORRY" and "THANK YOU" to her children, being prayed for by everyone like our church pastor and... singing worship songs especially her favorite "Ikaw ang Kusog" before her last breath.
I had closer relationship with our lola since 2022 dahil na rin since our father died that year, she had been more open about her past to me na.
She finally went to church with us and deepened her realationship with God.
Now dahil may closer relationship na rin tayo and alam mo na rin part of my life as my past client...
I'm sharing to you this exclusive secret .
Well, I guess not really a secret dahil I've told this already to my THM students before if I remember correctly.
Here's the secret.
Dahil naturally e ma kwento at matanong ako, I've discovered that my lola pala was molested and raped by her uncle.
As to my understanding, this caused series of problems to their marital journey lalo pa at they were married when she was 15.
Sobrang bata pa nila.
My lolo then became a drunkard but still a responsible husband always serving my lola's needs dahil act of service ang love language nya.
But as per my lola, their daily battles had been physical and traumatic.
Sometimes, lasing ra ang lolo at may dalang itak at gustong pagtagain na ang lola.
She would run and try to protect her kids.
Our lola was also accused as "MALANDI" daw by our lolo.
And when I asked her if may iba ba syang naka seggs aside from lolo, she clearly said "WALA"
Here's the thing.
We all have our own version of the story.
Our own truth that only God knows and can validate.
I've experienced this judgment too from my ex's familly.
Yes, EX na nga pala since he finally got married to a single mom last January 8th.
When I took my stand to be firm with pre-marital sex avoidance since Feb.2022, I discovered a lot of lies and betrayals from him and his family.
Honestly, I was hurt.
The space I imposed was genuine on my part and he knew my stand about pre-marital sex avoidance since 2019.
The betrayal year and the same year I went deeper in my relationship to God.
Looking back, masakit para sa akin na pinag mukha akong tanga ulit.
Yung the same feeling last 2019 na alam ng lahat ang betrayal yet tikom ang bibig nila and... no one bothered to tell it to me or at least, ask me kung kamusta ako.
But the second betrayal was more painful when after you made your stand, ikaw pa ang sinisisi sa faith mo.
And... yung nakakaharap ka nila at kasa kasama na pala ang Other Woman at wala kang ka alam2x dahil ang stand mo is space lang.
Yung mare realize mo that before you imposed your stand, you had been betrayed na rin pala.
Ang mas masakit is when you're blamed because of your advocacy that he also supported in the beginning.
And when you had battles pa with your son's custody dahil gustong e poison ang brain ng anak mo.
Yung nilalayo sayo ang anak mo at pinapa mommy sa iba.
And all these had been my battles since I stood to God's calling for this Healing After Cheating Advocacy.
It's challenging and painful standing for my truth.
But you know what's beautiful ?
When I'm standing for you and all women like I was.
Na despite everything, I'm shining as light for everyone.
That our version and truth can be validated by the Lord even if people will not validate the emotional battles we had.
As for me...
Since di naman kami married, it's more of gratitude.
I'm grateful that I had been spared from a toxic relationship.
That's why I'm sending this email to you today.
This is to remind you that whatever battle you're in, di ka nag iisa.
Na may nakaka intindi sayo.
And lastly, that there's this Someone who appreciates what you do and who sees everything you do beautifully.
Yun lang.
Enjoy your weekend with your family!!!
Cheering you on,
FJ Lapera
P.S. Nag emote lang ako konti sa email today. But I'm good. The LORD had been so good to me despite all the pain. See you next email. :)
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