Three (3) days ago, I got a message asking me a very specific advice which normally tinatanong sa akin even by my students inside the GB Fam.
And ever since, my answer had been the same.
Medyo taliwas sa normally naririnig mo mula sa nasaktang asawa.
But this very advice will yield your long-term peace.
But before that, this was her problem:
Alam mo miss FJ, di ko alam kong anong gagawin ko kasi parents ko gusto file a case at patanggalan si husband at kabet ng work.
Anak ko naman di gusto kasi ayaw nya ma bully mga kapatid nya.
Ako naman parang gusto ko rin silang sampahan ng kaso kasi wala talagang respect ang husband ko sa akin at sa pamilya ko.
Umuuwi sya piro patuloy naman sila sa relasyon ng kabet nasasaktan lalo mga anak ko lalo n yong dalaga ko kasi alam na nya ang mga ginagawa ng papa nya.
Miss FJ kailangam ko ng guidance ano ba talaga ang tama.
Kasi sinabihan na talaga ako ng husband na wala ng pag.asa maayos namin relasyon namin.
What should be the best solution? 
Now ano nga ba ang best solution that I normally recommend?
Kakasuhan ba?
Normally, out of anger, feeling of revenge or bitterness or... feeling mo gusto mo lang matuto or turuan ng leksyon ang husband mo, you resort to filing a case.
And I had been on this same dilemma.
I had thought of filing a case sa Papa ng anak ko when I was at the peak of my emotions last 2019 and... even in my battle with full custody when I finally chose God's ultimate conviction to me of avoiding pre-marital sex.
Reason?
Kasi ayaw ibigay sa akin ang full custody.
This was a very painful process for me bilang isang Nanay.
Syempre, nasa batas na dapat nasa akin ang anak ko.
Which gustong gusto kong ipaglaban na legally.
My students knew about this coz I share to them my wins and struggles deeper for them to learn more how I fight my battles.
Pero alam mo?
Si LORD mismo ang nangusap sa akin when I was having my quiet time with Him.
Here's the exact words that hit me hard:
If a wise person goes to court with a fool,
the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace. - Proverbs 29:9 NIV
This single verse gave so much impact sa puso ko.
And because si LORD na mismo ang nangusap sa akin, I understood the best thing to do.
Meaning, if you're like Jasmin and if gusto mo ng mapayapang buhay, the best way is NOT TO FILE any case.
Then maybe you'll ask me...
So magpapaka MARTYR na lang ako sis FJ?
A BIG NO.
Not filing a case doesn't mean loser ka na.
Kung nakikita mo silang masaya together, that happiness won't last.
Allow God to fight for you while you're fighting peacefully for your breakthrough and more wins sa buhay mo.
Kasi in reality, more triggers, anxiety and trauma pa ang aabutin mo sa pagkalkal ng mga baho ng asawa mo sa korte.
You'll lose your emotional battle too when one day, your kids will blame you for their father's misery.
Question is...
Kapag nawalan ng trabaho ang husband at kabit mo, will you be genuinely happy?
I bet...
Your conscience will one day trigger you.
At the end of the day, bilang isang anak, your kids (despite the hate if they do) silently love and long for their father's love and presence.
Kaya mas empowering pa rin yung best example ka of overcoming evil with good sa mga anak mo.
Coz one day, ganun din ang gagawin nila even when you're at your worst.
Mas empowering ang isang Nanay na nakaya itaguyod ang mga anak despite having a foolish father.
Mas nakaka proud and mas masarap sa feeling yung nakaya mong ibangon ang self mo while having the peace of mind still praying and wishing the best para sa tatay ng mga anak mo.
And believe me...
Iba yung joy inside your heart when you do this compared to the normal route of seeking revenge.
Kaya remember this verse.
Personal na pangungusap to ni LORD sa akin.
And I'm not sure about you but...
...kapag si LORD na ang nagsabi, it's always for our BEST. ^_^
Anyway...
I wonder kung nasaang level ka na ngayon or kung ano ang perspective mo.
Reply to this email and let me know.
A. Nakapag file na ng case sa husband / partner.
B. Still considering filing a case
C. Don't want to file any case
If A, how was it? How do you feel now? Naging masaya ka ba?
If B, why are you considering filing a case?
If C, why don't you want to file any?
Can't wait to hear from you. This would help me understood the POV of our email subscribers when it comes to filing a case.
And... I'd appreciate hearing your answer.
God bless you! ^_^
To your peace and joy,
FJ Lapera
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