are you angry?

Leave me alone!

Stop picking on me!

If only I 'coulda-woulda-shoulda' expressed my anger.

I was a skinny kid.

With huge hair.

Buck teeth.

Scrawny.

Easy target.

Like an archery target for bullies.

Chuck pushed me back into the coat closet in Mrs. Anders' class.

Emotions were always running high in my personal 'freaks and geeks' scenes.

Held my anger inside.

Took me many years to get REAL about my anger.

Recognize. Empathize. Ask. Laugh.

To recognize my anger.

To accept, embrace, and deescalate it.

To calmly state my upset.

To calmly state why I think they're upset.

About what happened.

About what I made up about it.

To empathize with another.

And myself.

Self-compassion for the upset.

Understanding their feelings.

To ask questions.

Of them.

Of myself.

How can I make this better?

What do you want from me right now?

Ask about my own emotions.

To laugh.

Shift the mood.

Not making fun of the angry person.

But making fun of myself.

To bring relief.

To ease tension.

Try to get REAL when you're angry.

It's really working for me.

Keep it real,

Dr. Steven

3.4.20

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