How to Get Past Negative Emotions & COVID Losses
Nov 19, 2020 6:01 pm
Hi
With COVID cases rising, increased restrictions and the canceling of seasons I thought this would be a good time to remind us all to not let our negative emotions dictate our behaviors. I empathize with how frustrated you may feel (and you should be!). At the same time, letting our negative emotions dictate who we are and how we act can make things worse.
The first video teaches acceptance so that you can still win while feeling bad.
And the second video is an interview from yesterday with FOX17 about the loss of the GVSU Men's Lacrosse season, and how both coaches and athletes can best respond to the disappointment.
How to Get Past Negative Emotions and Win
Obstacle:
We let negative emotions ruin our performance.
How to Overcome:
Understand we have 4 basic human emotions: happy, mad, sad and scared.
** Only 1 (25%) is positive! **
Rather than fight and try to change these normal (and beneficial emotions), BE WILLING to bring the emotions along with you as you use the information to guide your actions.
I explain more in the brief video below:
For example, you make a mistake and feel angry. Rather than try to calm down, understand you are mad because you care. Then use that energy to fix what you did wrong and have extra intense focus on the next play.
Action Steps:
🥇 Check out “The Psychology of Performance: How to Be Your Best in Life” at www.thegreatcourses.com/dreddieoconnor for the entire lecture and 23 other sport psychology lessons that will enhance your performance!
(Click here to watch the FOX17 interview)
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — As the state health department's new COVID-19 restrictions kick in here in Michigan, high schools and colleges are back to remote learning. Their sports programs have been shelved; some temporarily and others for the season.
Just two days ago, Grand Valley State University canceled its upcoming 2021 campaign, and it's not the first time. The Grand Valley State Men's Lacrosse team has had plenty of success over the years, including a national championship back in 2014.
But times have changed, and our country is in the midst of a pandemic which forced the Lakers to end their spring season after just three games.
"You're undefeated, we ranked top five, and we had national title aspirations and everything got cut short and so we're just kind of geared towards this year. You just kind of feel gutted with the announcement of the cancellation of the upcoming spring season," said Tim Murray, the head coach of the men's lacrosse team at GVSU.
Sports Psychologist Eddie O'Connor understands it. He sees athletes all the time who are struggling with the loss of playing the sports they love, especially the seniors.
"So for those athletes and the people around them, I say we really have to let them grieve, it's very important to not try to make it better, or look at the bright side, or any of those things that we know don't work, that just aggravate us. Really give people space to comprehend the loss and to feel it," said Dr. O'Connor.
He says some athletes may start to look within themselves and question why they train during modified or cancelled seasons.
"They almost have an automatic response like, 'well, this is what I do, this is who I am so I should just keep doing it no matter what.' Sometimes they ask 'what am I doing here?' and so I help explore that great question and ask them, 'What is your identity and motivation to keep training? Is it worth it, or do you want to invest in other things?' It helps athletes feel in more control and respond adaptively," Dr. O'Connor said.
He says this is a great opportunity for coaches to connect with their players.
"Really, the main thing that you can do, and athletes say this over and over again, is talk to us like human beings. Recognize that we're not just your point guard, you know, but we have a life. If the coach could ask specific questions like 'how are your grades?', or 'what's going on with your parents?" That is by far the best thing that you can do ... be present in their daily life. And if you notice there is a change in their personality, ask about it to see if they need some help."
It's something Coach Murray has been doing at GVSU for years.
"As frustrated and as disappointed as I may be right now, at the end of the day, what's best for these student athletes is what I'm most concerned with. You know, we may not have the opportunity to compete for a national championship like we're hoping for this year but that's not the end all be all of what we're doing here," Coach Murray said.
If there are parents or athletes out there who need someone to talk to like Dr. Eddie O'Connor, you can find him more information at https://dreddieoconnor.com/telehealth-services/
Dr. Eddie O’Connor
