Hi ,

I'll admit ... despite honesty being my core value, I haven't always been 100% honest and transparent.

I'm better than I used to be. Last Sunday I "caught" a low ball off the ground that just about everybody thought was a great catch. But someone asked me, "did it touch the ground?" I could very easily said no. I thought about it. I put my head down and said "yeah" ... turnover on downs.

Back when my identity was wrapped up in my accomplishments - I may have emphasized the good and maybe left out some of the bad details in my communications ... (ugh, I'm feeling the difficulty in being truthful and admitting wrongs even now!) ...

... and in relationships, I'd put forth my best self and not my truest self.

Now these may seem like small things, but they still caused damage.

Trust was lost. Relationship were broken.

So why do it? I didn't want to be dishonest. I just wanted wanted to spare someone the pain of my actions if I told the truth. Or sometimes, I was just trying to get an advantage and the "little white lie" wasn't going to hurt anybody (except the people I was getting the advantage over ... but thats part of the game, of capitalism, of entrepreneurship, etc.,, right?).

It becomes a dangerous pattern, however, because where is the line?

If the ref doesn't see the hold, is holding cheating?

Whose responsibility is it to be truthful? The athlete or the refs?

Maybe you think it's the refs ... it is their job, after all. And maybe committing a pass interference penalty in football to prevent the touchdown is worth committing since I am willing to take the consequences. It is an illegal play, but I can justify it.

So would the same be true for performance enhancing drugs? If I don't get caught and it gives me a competitive edge - is that ok?

READ MORE HERE

I hope we would all agree and say "no" for many reasons ... but can you see how one justification leads to another? Where do we draw the line?

I've heard coaches say, "if you're not cheating, you're not trying!"

This is how athletes can get caught up in cheating and lying.

There is immense pressure to deal with, devastating consequences for failure, high expectations of others.

Those who cheat aren't bad people. They often just get caught up in the pressure to win.

You can read more about cheating and lying in sport here.

** And if you find yourself tempted to cheat or the pressure of having to win is becoming too great reply to this e-mail and let me know. I'm offering a FREE 15-minute consult to help you decrease the pressure and become the athlete you want to be.

All the best,

Dr E

P.S. - In the last newsletter we talked about how to pay attention. I spoke with The Sports Professor on The Sports Project Radio Show about both these topics and you can listen to that here ... Enjoy!

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Dr. Eddie O’Connor

www.DrEddieOConnor.com

DrEddie@dreddieoconnor.com