Become more perfect by changing these 2 things
Jan 21, 2023 8:44 pm
Hope you are enjoying the weekend,
People enjoyed my recent notes on how to become the "perfect perfectionist."
In particular, many high achievers were relieved to hear that I understood their desire to be perfect, and how when people tell them, "mistakes are OK" their experience is invalidated.
So I continue below with two more things to change so you can do perfectionism better.
Continue to be great,
Dr. Eddie
How has the standard of perfection worked for you?
I'm guessing "not well" when you are so frequently confronted with failure. We tend to very often be disappointed when perfection is the goal.
While the standard of perfection is desired and sounds incredible, it is unrealistic.
Perfection can't happen.
Perfection won't happen.
We know this ... and yet we still go after it.
We chase something we will never catch. It is an existential hell to put ourselves in a position to have to achieve something that we can never achieve. Oh the chronic stress this creates!!!
And watch how we accept "no one is perfect" but demand perfection of ourselves at the same time!
"No one is perfect" and "I can be perfect" cannot both be true.
Do not let yourself ignore this conflict.
Only one is accurate .
Decide for yourself which one that is.
If you truly believe that you can be perfect, we may need to have a conversation about humility. ๐
But if you truly believe that no one is perfect, then consider how accepting a more realistic standard of excellence would feel.
Perfectionism has many benefits and is a challenge to navigate. I'd love to work with you on this and help you become "the perfect perfectionist." Join us inside Success Stories Membership at www.dreddieoconnor.com/membership
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Comparison is inherent in perfectionism.
We compare ourselves to an ideal, unrealistic standard and fall short.
Sometimes we compare ourselves to other competitors or teammates and emphasize where they are better, highlighting where we fail. We obsess on our shortcomings and where we fall short of perfection.
But focusing on others does not inform us of where we are or what we need to do to improve.
Do this instead:
- ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ the day or week before.
- Notice where you are better.
- Notice where you can be better and make a specific plan to improve this in the next practice(s).
- Train this skill.
- Then, a day or week later, compare yourself to yourself again, note your improvement, and then set new goals.
- Repeat.
This keeps you focused on what you can control, where and how to improve, and tracks your progress toward perfection building confidence along the way.
Perfectionism can help, but when it is out of control it ruins our focus, drains our motivation and kills our performance. Call me at 616-328-3686 or reply to this e-mail so I can help you become the "perfect perfectionist." More on individual consultations here.
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Dr. Eddie OโConnor
