How to Become the "Perfect Perfectionist"
Jan 14, 2023 2:01 pm
Hello,
Today's message goes out to all my perfectionists who don't want to hear that mistakes are ok.
They aren't.
They cause us to lose games, get embarrassed and disappoint others.
If mistakes were OK, we wouldn't keep score, coach wouldn't yell when we made them, and our papers in school wouldn't have red marks all over them.
BUT ... mistakes do serve a purpose. And the "perfect perfectionist" knows how to respond to them.
Enjoy the articles below.
Dr. Eddie
I am a huge fan of perfectionism. It drives us to be better. It provides inspiration to work through adversity. It helps us get results.
Taken too far, perfectionism also robs us of joy and increases stress, anxiety, and depression. It can lead to burnout.
But there is a way to be the "perfect perfectionist" and it has to do with our relationship to mistakes.
Perfectionism that hurts adopts the attitude that mistakes are unacceptable and not to be tolerated. Focus is on avoiding mistakes (and this focus often increases them). Nothing is ever good enough, we "should" be better than we are, and we are never satisfied.
While this comes out of genuinely great desire to be excellent, this attitude leads to exhaustion and shame. And that ultimately hurts our performance, moving us further from the perfection we desire.
Perfectionism that helps relates to mistakes very differently. While they are never enjoyed or desired, there is an acceptance of mistakes as part of the learning process. Each mistake is taken as information about what not to do. And that perfectionistic energy is directed into making a correction on the very next repetition.
This attitude promotes growth and positive mental health. It is perfectionism done perfectly.
If you need help overcoming your perfectionism, join us inside Success Stories Membership at www.dreddieoconnor.com/membership
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Our focus is like a spotlight on a big stage. Our attention shines on one thing at a time, and everything else fades into the dark background unseen. With perfectionism, the spotlight is often on our mistakes.
Once we recognize we are highlighting our mistakes, we must catch ourselves and intentionally move the light to other things on stage.
Other things that are equally true, like the many things we have done well. Our skills and training. What's happening in the present moment and our plan to respond to the mistake.
Take control of the spotlight.
Don't keep it fixated on the mistake.
Move it to the solution.
... and if you are looking for a solution to your perfectionism and anxiety, I can help with individual consultations here.
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Dr. Eddie O’Connor
