Did you know going backward moves you forward?
Jan 08, 2021 6:01 pm
Hi
That subject line doesn't make sense, does it? But I'm serious.
So many of my clients get so frustrated when they slip in the new habit they are trying to build (or pick up one they are trying to quit). And I understand the frustration, we want to improve in a linear way, just getting better each day.
But it doesn't work that way. Back when I was in grad school, we learned about relapse prevention and the work of Alan Marlatt, THE psychologist when it came to addictions in the 1980s through 2000s. The idea was basically to address both the internal and external risks that would contribute to using substances again and try to eliminate them, or respond to them in a more positive way.
However, with 40-60% of people with substance use disorders relapsing within a year (Slomski, 2014 in the Journal of the American Medical Association) more recent models of change now include relapse as a part of the maintenance stage of change.
This is where an intolerance of mistakes hurts you. A common response is to beat yourself up for the mistake, focusing on the failure and losing faith in your ability to change. That mental approach can turn a minor lapse into a full relapse.
They key here is realize that there is a real opportunity to grow from this mistake. You lapsed for a reason. What was it? Was it a particular urge you felt, and emption you gave into, a social situation that triggered you? Rather than sink into a depression about the mistake, do not lose the opportunity to learn from it by honestly exploring the reasons behind your choice to do what you didn't want to do. It isn't weakness. There was a good and understandable reason you want to identify and address.
Yes, this is easier said than done, but I promise you it is worth the effort. Remember, the path to success in any endeavor is through your failures.
Success Stories Membership UPDATE
My friends, 2021 is going to be awesome in Success Stories Membership. Can I give you a sneak peek into what I’m working on?
I’ve just downloaded over 100 videos (yes, over 100!) to help my members get over their obstacles and achieve excellence.
On the new membership site platform, you will be able to type in any word or concept, and Searchie will look through ALL my content and create a personal playlist for you cued to exactly where I mention it.
For example (see the picture), I typed in “confidence” and BAM! a playlist of 14 videos cued to 19 places where I mention confidence appears.
In the next picture you see in my “Why You Under-Achieve” video, it is cued to the two places I mention confidence AND it is transcribed so you can quickly read and see what you want to watch.
How easy will this make it for you to make progress?
Don’t miss out on this amazing feature and click the link to get on the Success Stories Membership wait list right now so you will be the first to know when doors open again late February.
Resources For You
I'm here to help you overcome your obstacles to excellence:
🥇 Individual consulting at https://dreddieoconnor.com/telehealth-services/
🥈 Success Stories Membership at https://dreddieoconnor.com/membership/
🥉 Mental Toughness in 60 Seconds (YouTube Video Series)
Dr. Eddie O’Connor
