The one sentence you need to live your best life
Apr 08, 2021 12:31 pm
Hey
As promised, here are the third and fourth components of the best sentence to improve your performance.
As always, I am available to help with 1:1 coaching or in the membership. More at www.dreddieoconnor.com
Best,
Dr Eddie
Noticing My Thoughts
“I am … noticing my thoughts …”
Thoughts have a tendency to hook us, and bring us into the story they are telling. These thoughts are frequently a distraction to the present moment, bringing our attention to a perspective of the past or narrating a future that may or may not be.
Our thoughts lead to emotions. They powerfully elicit feelings appropriate to the story’s context, both good and bad.
Now add that our mind has a negativity bias designed to pick out potential threats in our environment and highlight them. So our thoughts have a natural tendency to be overly negative, despite the expectations for “positive thinking.”
We cannot control our thoughts.
Let me say that again.
We can NOT control our thoughts. At least not the first automatic negative thoughts that pop into our heads. On the other hand, we do control our reactions to them.
You might have noticed that it is very hard to think positively when you are actively engaged with a negative thought. In the process of responding and changing negative to positive, notice there is a space between negative thinking and positive thinking.
A small quiet space of no thought, just noticing and observing before engaging and attaching to a particular perspective.
There is peace in that space of noticing our thoughts. We are not in them, believing them and reacting to them. We are just being, as we are, noticing thoughts and our reactions to them.
From that quiet place we can decide if this thought serves us well. Does it move us closer to our desired goal? Or does it move us further away?
Engage the thought if it moves us closer, or stay detached and just notice the experience of thinking if the content of this thought does us no good.
This mindfulness of thoughts is a psychological skill that can be practiced and developed. I would love to teacht you with 1:1 coaching at https://dreddieoconnor.com/telehealth-services/
Choosing to Do What is Important to Me
"I am ... choosing to do what is important to me."
Ultimately, this is what is is all about. By practicing the first three statements, you are free to do the fourth.
Imagine living a life guided by your values. Imagine consistently doing what is important to you, regardless of negative thoughts and difficult feelings.
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to be known for?
What is your purpose or mission?
Achieving this will not be easy. There will be pain, sacrifice and adversity.
I encourage you to keep what is important to you top of mind. Notice the difficult thoughts and feelings that show up when you move in that direction. And then ask yourself if you are willing to experience these things in service of your goals.
If you find yourself inconsistently doing what is most important to you, check out the community support available in Success Stories Membership at https://dreddieoconnor.com/membership
Dr. Eddie O’Connor
