Why I hate the cliché "Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable"
Jun 11, 2021 3:31 pm
Hello
Clichés have their place and hold a lot of truth, but one really bugs me (see below).
And speaking of uncomfortable, I had the opportunity to sit down with Janice Allen of FOX17 and talk about why the reporting of abuse in sports is so difficult. I offer some guidelines to follow and keep our athletes safe. Watch the interview below.
Enjoy the weekend,
Dr Eddie
Stay Uncomfortable!
I hate the cliché, "Get comfortable being uncomfortable" for several reasons.
First, seeking comfort anywhere in performance is risky, particularly in competition when it is 'your bes't versus 'their best'. Where is comfort to be found in running or lifting a personal best?
Growth isn't comfortable ... we hate making mistakes and have to feel the pain and keep going anyway. So just the suggestion of seeking comfort bothers me.
Secondly, if you do happen to get comfortable being uncomfortable - then you need to do something more challenging.
If you are "comfortable being uncomfortable", you are no longer uncomfortable and you risk plateauing.
Now the sentiment behind this cliché is a good one - but let me offer this phrase to you instead, "Be willing."
Be willing to feel the pain and discomfort that is necessary to keep you moving forward. You never have to like it. You should never get used to it and it should never be easy. But you can appreciate the pain and difficulty for what it is - an always uncomfortable and unpleasant experience that has great value in the process of becoming your best self.
If you struggle to push through the difficulty and/or are losing motivation for training, I can help.
Why It's Hard to Report Abuse (and why we should do it anyway)
On the heels of Matt Schembechler's accusation that his father, Bo (former coach at Michigan), ignored his account of sexual abuse by a team doctor when he was 10 (story here) - it raises the question, "why do people not report or respond?" Yes, there is the pressure of money, and focusing on football, and not wanting to disrupt potential for success. But it goes deeper than that and we need to lean into this discomfort and protect our youth. Watch HERE.
**Warning - contains specific details of sexual abuse
From FOX17 Janice Allen:
KENT COUNTY, Mich — As more victims come forward with allegations of abuse against former University of Michigan Sports Dr. Robert Anderson—including the son of Bo Schembechler this week—Sports Psychologist Dr. Eddie O' Connor said now is a good time to talk to your student athlete about sexual abuse.
"I think really, the best thing that you could do is when stories like this come out, is you make it a family discussion," explained Dr. O'Connor. "Now as the adult, or as the parent, you have to be comfortable... you don't want to use certain words or beat around the bush. Look, if you can just be objective, speak in medical terms, be very straightforward; that's going to help children from younger ages through teens through college."
Dr. O'Connor said victims often feel as if it's their fault, or that they did something wrong to lead to the abuse.
Victims of Dr. Anderson claim it was the "worst-kept secret at the university."
Hundreds have since come forward alleging abuse at the hands of the late doctor.
"People are trying to protect whatever they're most highly valuing and invested in. And in college sports... a big motivator is the perception, the recruiting, the tremendous effect that it's going to have an entire program, millions of dollars," said Dr. O'Connor. "It's got its own unique challenges, which is why in college sports, we want to take reports of this even more seriously."
Dr. O'Connor said there are signs to look for if your student athlete is being abused.
"Anytime you see any difference, so if they're becoming more withdrawn, if they're more angry, irritable, if they start losing interest in friends, if they start isolating, if their grades start dropping, if there's a change where you're like, 'Gosh, it doesn't seem like my kid anymore,' then something is going on," he said.
He also urged those involved to pay attention to any abuse allegations.
"Every coach and parent that's out there... if you hear that there is any abuse, you must put all of your stuff aside and protect that child, protect that team, protect that person who is being hurt," he said. "And, look at it and explore it. Even if it costs you something, because you're saving a life."
Watch Here: https://www.fox17online.com/news/local-news/how-to-talk-to-your-student-athlete-about-sexual-abuse
Dr. Eddie O’Connor
