{{contact.first_name}} Are you living by accident?
Dec 04, 2021 12:53 am
Hi again,
Inside Success Stories Membership we are doing the "Starting Mindfulness" challenge - which got me thinking about how important it is to be intentional in our lives. And how much we have running around in our heads!
So the two articles below address these issues.
And if you would like support in overcoming your obstacles to excellence, consider joining Success Stories Membership today at just $27/month.
Investment goes up to $29 Sunday, so save and join now.
Details about the benefits of membership are at www.dreddieoconnor.com/membership
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Are You Living By Accident?
“Of all the moments you are living, how are you living?”
What a great question to bring us into the present moment and consider how intentional our choices are.
How often are you unintentional in your focus? Recent research suggests half our thoughts are by accident!
What does just “going with the flow” do to progress toward your goals?
Everything you say (or don’t say) counts.
Everything you do (or don’t do) counts.
We have a brain that is constantly learning and a life constantly moving forward.
Are you moving forward with intention and purpose? This is a choice to make as there are many opportunities to course correct and get back on track when we stray.
One thing that often moves us off track is pain versus pleasure. We often want pleasure or relief in the present moment. This only delays pain and suffering until later as we miss our goals due to lack of discipline. But if we choose to suffer now in service of the payoff later, our sacrifice is often rewarded. The pain is coming. Be intentional about your choices.
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You Can't Clear Your Mind
Did you know? You can't clear your mind.
It’s true.
Try it now. Totally empty your mind of everything. I’ll wait.
…
I bet at least one of the following happened:
- The more you tried not to think, the more you thought
- Even if you stopped “talking" in your mind, you were aware of your body and environment like the sounds around you or the sensation of breathing … so it wasn’t clear
- You may have had a brief moment of clear, noticed it was clear and therefore no longer had a blank mind because you were thinking about how you weren’t thinking anything.
Don’t feel bad if you couldn’t clear your mind. No one can. Our mind isn’t built that way and I wish we would stop telling people to “clear their heads.”
Here is the short story:
You mind’s primary job is to scan the environment and warn you of danger. It consistently evaluates and comments on potential threats.
You can’t shut this off. You can’t clear your mind and be aware of nothing. You are always aware of something.
So they key to improving your focus isn’t clearing your head.
The more you try to not think of something, the more it shows up.
🔑 The key is to identify what you DO want to think about in very specific terms. And then commit all attentional effort to that specific target … over and over again.
For example, a relief pitcher’s team is ahead by one run. It’s the bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, two outs and at a full count.
His mind is all over the place. “Don’t throw a ball and walk in the tying run … don’t give up a hit … OMG my heart is racing … I need to get outta here with a win …” and more.
He tries to “clear his mind” and not think these things. But they don’t go away.
So he tries to think positive, “I can do this” and he believes it, but he is still worried because the threat of a hit remains.
So he tries to clear his mind by taking a deep breath … and while this does bring down his nervousness a bit, it is just a distraction and doesn’t tell him what he needs to do to throw a strike!
It is that action thought that needs to be his focus. Not a clear head.
... And if you want some help with your performance anxiety, I am available for individual consultations here.
Best wishes,
Dr Eddie
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Dr. Eddie O’Connor
