This is what your coach wants
Dec 02, 2022 2:06 pm
Happy Friday,
I spent much of my life wanting to please others. The thought of disappointing my significant other, my kids, my boss and my peers kept me in a state of anxiety.
I was distracted by that anxiety and made decisions based on fear.
That is no way to succeed. In fact I made bad decisions, communicated poorly and was not my best self because I was focused on how they thought/felt and not on what I was doing.
My athletes are often very concerned about letting coaches, parents and teammates down. I hope the two posts below ease that concern.
Best wishes,
Dr. Eddie
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"I don't want to disappoint Coach"
I think it's great that you don't want to disappoint your coach.
But I'd also like you to give him/her a bit more credit.
For one, coach absolutely knows disappointment is a part of sport. No one, no matter how hard they work, is entitled to win. And when you put your best against someone else's best, someone has to be disappointed. It is this uncertainty that makes sport amazing. (If you 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 you were going to win every contest, wouldn't you get bored?)
Secondly, your coach has experience with disappointment. If he has been coaching a while, then there is a lot of experience with it! She knows how to handle it. You aren't hurting her (see point #1 above).
Maintain emotional boundaries. It is not your job to manage your coach's emotions. It is his job. It is your job to manage your own emotions, not his. So relieve yourself of that responsibility and get back to focusing on what you need to do in the moment to win.
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Sometimes we don't like when the coach criticizes us. We misinterpret the feedback as if we are disappointing him when we don't get it right.
But remember it is your coach's job to criticize you, no matter how well you are playing.
Mistakes are opportunities to learn and the coach is going to jump on them (sometimes enthusiastically) as an opportunity to teach. It is why s/he is there.
Don't take it personal. You're not letting him down. You may feel like nothing is ever good enough and that may be true because it is your coach's job to always push you to be better.
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Check out the 24 Performance Lectures HERE
Who do you know that would love this for Christmas?
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Dr. Eddie O’Connor
