Tomorrow is my flight to Argentina. It’s also my grandpa’s birthday who passed away in December.

Last night, I had a travel nightmare. I tend to get those before big excursions.

I was sitting at my gate waiting to board the plane. There were about 30 minutes to go before I realized I had forgotten to get my boarding pass and check my bag.

Panic ensued. How did I make it through the terminal without accomplishing those essential tasks?

And that’s really at the heart of why travel makes me so stressed out: the fear of being incompetent.

My friend put it perfectly. She told me the story of immediately losing her backpack and passport when she went to Poland. She laughingly told me, “At that moment I felt like I was too stupid to be traveling alone.”

That’s exactly right. If I miss a flight, if I get confused by foreign public transportation, if I can’t find my way…my deep fear is that other people could figure it out but I’m too stupid to.

Yesterday was emotionally taxing. I said goodbye to some close friends, hung out with my family, and came home and crashed at 9pm. Today I’m armed with my first full night’s sleep in a week. Some work to do. Rock climbing with a buddy. Packing. Hanging with besties.

The next time you get an email from me will be from my apartment in Buenos Aires. All I have to do is make it there alive.

See you then.