Dear ,
Let’s talk some more about self-governance.
One of the qualities that make self-governing people stand out so distinctly is their ability to ‘man the reins’ – I’ll explain what this means.
Have you ever had one of those fun rides on a horse? Sometimes, there is a rider that sits with you on the horse. As soon as he gives the horse a gentle whip, it begins to move. The next thing he'd do is to grab the reins immediately to control the horse.
The whip triggers movement, but the reins provide control.
Now, let’s do some substitutions as we apply this to you.
The horse is your emotional state. You’re being carried by the horse - wherever it goes, you go also. Similarly, the state you are emotionally determines the decisions you make and ultimately the kind of life you lead.
The whip is any thing that trigers any kind of emotion in you – feelings of sadness, happiness, anger, e.t.c. It is everything you experience - circumstances, events, actions or inactions. This whip lands on the side of the horse, the horse is ready to move, but what direction will it take?
This is the defining moment between someone who is self-governing and one who is not. This is the moment for the reins.
The reins represent your perception. The reins determine the direction the horse goes. Your perception of whatever you experience is what determines your emotional state, which – as I mentioned earlier – determines the kind of life you lead.
To man the reins is to have a good perception of things. When you have this, you’d discover that what you labelled as failure is another opportunity to do better. You might see that the betrayal by your friend was not intentional but an expression of how hurt she was. Even the coldness from your spouse, you’d probably discover that it was a cry for help from the childhood traumas he faced and has nothing to do with you.
I could have asked you to imagine what will happen to a man who knows nothing about handling a horse, sitting comfortably on one. Then someone comes and gives the horse a hard whip at the side. Don’t imagine the outcome, it might be too much for you.
Just know this - You’ve got to man your reins. In my next mail, I'd tell you how.
P.S. I shared an emotional chart early in the year during one of our mentoring calls. This would be a good time to refer back to it.
Go for Greatness.
Dami Oluwatoyinbo
Founder, Global Greatness.
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