Rest isn't restoring you. Here's why.

—  A letter for the Letter Circle

How to Get Out of Survival Mode as an Autism or Special Needs Mom (or as ANY Caregiver)

Hello there,

Long before I became the mother to my two autistic littles with their complex needs, I was the girl who cried with anxiety in the car one time right before cheer camp started, and then blew the whistle to start squad warm-ups only minutes later. Because as the Captain, showing up halfway was never even an option for me. I learned very early how to swallow the feeling and perform the role anyway... And for a long time …I genuinely believed that was “strength”. Wasn't it?..

THEN, motherhood reshaped by autism and needs arrived and turned that ONE skill into my entire existence:

Meltdowns before 9 AM. Therapy appointments stacked across the week. Researching interventions at midnight, and then waking up to do it all over again. Years of dark and sticky mental-health seasons that didn't announce themselves (and didn't leave quickly, either). And somewhere in the middle of all that functioning… I quietly stopped existing as a person and started existing as a system.

I've said it before on here, and it's still the truest thing I know: