Hi
Can I question the story I’m telling about someone else?
I tell a lot of stories about other people. Some are kind, some are compassionate, and some are downright ugly.
I have stories about my parents, my ex-husband, the bullies who made my school years miserable, organized religion, and people who I have judged without knowing their whole story.
And then there’s Donald Trump.
Oh, the stories I can tell about Donald Trump.
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is something I’ve been practicing for years, but I still struggle with it. Particularly when I believe someone has caused tremendous suffering. Because somewhere in my thinking, giving someone the benefit of the doubt means letting them off the hook.
But it doesn’t.
I can acknowledge that someone has caused harm and still recognize their humanity. I can hold someone accountable without believing I know everything about them. And I can disagree with someone without allowing my judgements toward them to consume me.
I’ve done a lot of inquiry around my relationship with my mother. For years, I carried stories about who she was, what she did, and how she should have treated me.
Through that work, I began to understand more about her life. She experienced tremendous suffering of her own, struggled with her mental health, and had very little support. Much of her life was spent trying to survive.