Hi,

Just a few weeks left of the massive and impressive Marek Zulawski exhibition at Toruń CSW. Time to plan a last-minute festive trip, perhaps?

Last week I gave you a review of the show, so this week I want to do something completely different. Especially since winter has really kicked in across much of Europe, especially Poland...

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A lovely new home in the Karkonosze Mountains

Growing up in London, I've always had a romantic view of snow. It was such a rare occurrence, it seemed special and magical whenever the London streets suddenly went white. And it always seemed far too brief.

People from rural areas in Poland do not have any such illusions. There was a warm winter a couple of years ago, but since then, the snow has been back in Poland with a vengeance.

There is a great little series of diary entries that elegantly capture these two views. Written by Zdzisław Adamiec from the city of Opole, it's all about a famously picturesque region called Karkonosze in the deep south west.

A narrated version of his diaries was a viral hit in Poland a few years ago.

Unfortunately, it's never been available in English. So I thought I'd remedy that.

Below is the diary, as translated by me.

(Be warned, there are a few swear words...)

August 2nd

We just moved into our new home in the Karkonosze. It’s just so beautiful here! The trees around us all look so majestic. I just can't wait for them to be covered in snow.

October 4th

The Karkonosze Mountains are the most beautiful place on Earth. All the leaves have changed colour to tones of orange and red. I went for a drive around our area and saw some deer. How magnificent and grand they were. I am sure they are the most beautiful animals in the world. It's like paradise here. God, how I love it here!

Image by Roman Paroubek from Pixabay

November 11th

Last night, it finally snowed. I woke up and outside the window everything was covered in a white, wonderful blanket. An incredible view, like something out of a Christmas postcard. Our whole family went outside, we tidied up the snow from the entrance steps and then cleared the access road to our beautiful cottage. After that, we had some delightful fun: a snow fight. I won, of course. Then the snowplough passed by and covered up what we had previously shovelled. So we had to clear the entrance to the access road again. A fun bit of sport. I love the Karkonosze.

December 12th

Last night, it snowed again. I cleared the road and the snowplough yet again covered the entrance to it. How funny. I just love this place.

December 19th

Another snowfall last night. Due to our inhospitable access road, I couldn’t drive to work. I'm completely exhausted from the constant snow-clearing. And to top it off, there's that fucking plough going non-stop.

December 22nd

Last night, even more of that white shit came down. My hands are completely covered in blisters from all the shovelling. I'm sure that snowplough is already waiting around the corner to come by as soon as I've finished clearing the snow from the access road. Motherfucker.

December 25th

Merry fucking Christmas! Even more of that white shitty snow has come down. If I ever get my hands on that snowplough bastard, I swear I'll kill the prick! I don't understand why they don't grit the road with salt like they do in the city to melt all this frozen slippery shit.

December 27th

More of that white hell whore fell overnight. I haven’t been able to step out of the house for three days. Except, of course, to shovel snow off the fucking access road every time the plough drives by. I can't get anywhere at all. The car is buried under a huge mountain of white shit. To top it all off, the weatherman on TV is predicting 25 centimetres of further snowfall tonight. You can imagine how many full shovels of snow that is.

Image by hoteleuropalubin from Pixabay

December 28th

That fucking weatherman was wrong. It rained 85 centimetres of that white fucking garbage. Fuck me, it won't melt now - it won't even melt until July. At least, that snowplough got stuck in a snowdrift. The fucker came over to me to borrow a shovel. I thought I was going to kill him straight away, but first I told him that I'd already broken six shovels while shovelling snow, and that the seventh and final one was about to be smashed over his thick Highlander head.

January 4th

I finally got out of the house somehow. I drove to the shop to buy something to eat and drink. As I was driving back, a deer jumped out in front of my car. That fucking horned moron did me three thousand zloty’s worth of damage. For a moment, the thought ran through my mind that he was probably in cahoots with that snowplough prick. They should shoot all these motherfucking deer. Why didn’t the hunters just kill them all during hunting season?

May 3rd

It wasn't until today that I was able to take the car to a garage in town. You wouldn't believe how rusty it was from the fucking salt it turned out they actually were pouring onto the road. There was the snowplough parked in the driveway, washed and shiny, along with a new driver. The other one was probably still nursing his stupid bashed up head. Luckily, he’d lost his memory from the impact, otherwise I’d be in a jail cell thanks to that bastard.

May 18th

I sold that stinking hovel in the Karkonosze Mountains to some pretentious smart arse from the city. He said he'd been dreaming about it all his life and that he’d saved money so he could relax during his retirement. The silly prick is in for a surprise when winter comes and that other prick gets out of hospital. I have moved back to my beloved charming city. I can't imagine how anyone with even a modicum of reason and common sense could ever want to live in some snowed-over frozen shithole in the Karkonosze Mountains.

I hope you enjoyed that. I'm tempted to make a video version for Youtube like the Polish version has. Good idea?

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Local media is screwed

I'm proud to say I recently worked with the award-winning podcast The Europeans. I helped out with editing a two-parter on local media in Poland, Hungary and Bulgaria called An Autocrat's Guide to Destroying Local Media.

It's an important story, but generally, it was just really lovely working with the team, including my old colleague Wojciech. The first part came out today, the second will appear next week.

I highly recommend subscribing to the show either way - if you're interested in European current affairs but don't want to listen to stuffy news, this is the show for you.

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That's it for this week. Many thanks for reading.

Adam

p.s. If you're doing your Christmas shopping online, remember that e-books make terrible presents, but here's one if you're looking to buy one anyway.

Adam Zulawski

TranslatingMarek.com / Other stuff