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When I fancied myself a screenwriter, I think my favorite script that I ever wrote was called One Hour Conspiracy, and I was lucky to have my friend Jason make an animated short of the first ten minutes of the script. He even put in a little joke for me. At the very end there is a reference to the saxophone player in the movie the Lost Boys.

For reasons that I cannot possibly comprehend, I find the sax player scene in the movie exceptionally funny. That man playing the sax in the Lost Boys sums up the entire decade of the 80s from overly hulking He-Man physiques to a sense of egregiousness that only the 80s can provide. From the overinflated rock ballads to epic love songs that equate romance to eagles and mountains, there was something in that scene that was so entirely 80s that I can’t help but laugh every time I think of it.

Either way, we were watching the Lost Boys one day, and I couldn’t stop laughing about the sax player. I had tears in my eyes when somehow that moment explained the 80s to me, and everyone else started laughing because I was so out of control. If I had known my spouse back then, she would have called it a Mad Eye Moody moment. I had this brief moment in time where I wanted to upload a picture of me as Mad Eye Moody my friend photoshopped onto my IMDB profile because I thought it would be funny if someone coming to my page saw that.

One more story before I get back to AI, the night after writing this, I had a dream where I was at this party, and a bunch of old men were playing an iconic 80s love song with a sax riff that I’m sure you’d recognize once you heard it. The song was so vivid in my dream that I spent a good deal of time looking for it on the internet. Once I found it, I was shocked how that song had played with perfect fidelity in my dreams, if there is a sax riff that could describe the 80s it’s George Michael’s Careless Whispers. Now I just need a cover where the sax player from the Lost Boys or a good look alike of him is playing that song, comic gold!

But anyways, I digress, what I wanted to say is I got lucky that a friend of mine wanted to make an animated short out of my script. And it captured my wacky and weird sense of humor perfectly (though I will admit, Jason added a lot of great bits like the girlfriend holding a claw hand). While the plot of One Hour Conspiracy is so outdated (a secret agent tries to get a 35mm film developed in one hour and gets killed sending our hapless clerk on the adventure), it will never see the big screen. 

But that sort of comedy has never left me, and a couple years ago, I wrote a similar script that I called Bite Squad, for a working title. It’s basically about vampires that use a food delivery app to get invited into people’s homes. Since they can’t enter a home without an invitation, they find out if they deliver for a food delivery service like Bite Squad, people just let them into their homes. Easy vamp pickings.

I figured that if AI was going to make a movie, then it would need an actual movie script and not just text from a book. I dusted off some of my earlier screen writing passion and fed it the first scene of my movie script with the working title of Bite Squad with some carefully worded direction of what I wanted to happen.

The scene is pretty simple in setup. An old school Interview with a Vampire type vampire is feeding off a food delivery driver. During which, the vamp has a conversation about the guy’s job, and hatches his entire plan to work for the delivery service to find victims. I attempted to get some parameters like horror comedy, and other mood descriptions and here’s what it made.

For an embedded version go here.

Bite Squad 

While it did a fairly good jobs summarizing the script (movie producers, there’s a contact page on my website), the video was over all lackluster, and not exactly what I was hoping for: in goes movie script out comes Pixar quality movie. 

Realizing that while the technology may work for generic background imagery for that corporate PowerPoint or canned footage for a pharmaceutical ad, or just because you need people swimming with dolphins in the background, AI movie making has a long way to go before all the future Walt Disney’s of the world build their film empire from their basements.

But I figured that before my free trial ran out, I wanted to try one last thing. If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I write a lot of humor lists. So, I wanted to see if at the very least it could just create background video for a post about using fantasy tropes to make office life more interesting and another one in the same vein of humor but about meetings more specifically.

The results weren’t bad, but I wouldn’t say great either, but I’ll let you judge for yourself:

Office Life More Exciting with Fantasy

Exciting Meetings Using Fantasy

Let’s just say that I’ll stick to writing for the foreseeable future (I’m still waiting on that call from Netflix or Pluto TV. I’m not picky).

Thanks for reading my series about my adventures in AI filmmaking. If you enjoy what I do, and want to support it, the best way is purchasing a copy of any one of my books in any format you enjoy. I recommend the Misfits of Carnt series. The narrator of the audiobook version is a human, and did an amazing job.

If you are already a proud owner of one of my books, and love it, consider leaving a review or telling a friend, both are easy to do, and help in a big way.

Thank you for being here.

Making bills and earnin’ like a baller with l33tskillz4va’s crypto fast cash is not what happens in this book!

But there are killer trees and bloody arena battles. What more could you want? Except sex. That happens too.

It also resolves plot points like certain characters stuck in a painting and what's Petra’s mom doin’ at that volcano, yo!

I mean I guess there’s stuff like personal character growth and human connection and all that warm, squishy stuff.

But did I mention sex that happens in this book, and magic, swords, battle axes, battles, and plenty limbs being chopped off?

Oh yeah, it’s all in the third Misfits of Carnt!

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