Hey

It's Tom, popping back into your inbox faster than you can say "pumpkin spice latte." 🍁

I hope my last email brought a smile to your face—or at least made you roll your eyes at my cheesy jokes (I can't promise this one will be any different). But hey, laughter is the best medicine, right? That, and a solid functional health plan. 😉

So, what's new?

Well, aside from perfecting my kale chip recipe (still tastes like kale, unfortunately), I've been gearing up for something BIG. And since we're friends, I wanted you to be the first to know.

Here's a not-so-subtle hint: It rhymes with "Slack Friday" and it's not about scoring a deal on a TV you'll only use to watch reruns of The Office.

Yes, you guessed it (you smart cookie, you)!

Black Friday is on the horizon, and while everyone else is battling for parking spots and wrestling over the last pair of fuzzy slippers, I'm cooking up something that won't require body armour or caffeine IV drips.

Imagine this:

• Getting a head start on your New Year's resolutions—because who says you have to wait until January 1st to be a better you?
• Diving deep into your health with personalized insights that make Sherlock Holmes look like an amateur.
• World-class support that’s got your back (and gut, and hormones), guiding you every step of the way.

Why am I telling you this now?

Because I believe in being prepared. And also because keeping secrets isn't my strong suit—remember, I'm the one who told everyone about Santa when I was five (sorry about that).

What's in it for you?

• Beat the Rush: Get ahead of the "New Year, New Me" crowd and start feeling fabulous now.
• Exclusive Access: Early bird opportunities to join my upcoming programs before they open to the public.
• Special Bonuses: Think of them as the sprinkles on your health sundae (but with fewer calories).

Stay tuned for more details in the coming days!

In the meantime, let's keep the conversation going. I'd love to know:

• What's one health goal you'd love to crush before the year ends?
• Is there a wellness topic you've been curious about?

Hit reply and spill the tea (herbal, of course). Your feedback helps me create content that's actually useful—and not just me rambling about kale chips again.

And because I can't resist:

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

(Still here? Bless your patience.)

Looking forward to helping you make this holiday season not just about surviving, but thriving.

Cheers to health, happiness, and hilarious puns,

Tom

Functional Health Coach & Chief Joke Office