Hello , my fellow brave human

Have you ever felt frustrated by all the obstacles that keep coming up between you and your vision or purpose? Do they feel they are getting in the way? Do they make you feel like giving up?

What if… those very obstacles aren't barriers at all, but necessary steps—gifts even—that guide you toward your destination?

So, I realise I’ve been operating with a flawed metaphor. Since my 50th, I've been actively focusing on "peeling away the layers of the onion" to get to my essential truth. It’s felt like the right metaphor.

Strip away the unnecessary. Reveal the core. Find what matters.

Then, during a conversation with a new member of The Brave Collective, I had one of those perspective-shifting moments that made me stop and reconsider everything.

When I mentioned my peeling away the layers, she responded simply: "But onions need those layers to grow."

That made me stop in my tracks.

The Onion's Truth: Each Layer Is a Gift

I've been thinking about this ever since. What if those layers aren't obstacles to be removed but essential gifts that we keep to strengthen us on our path? And to keep and not discard them?

In our quest for purpose and vision, we often view doubts, fears, life challenges, financial limitations, and physical barriers, illness as things to overcome to ‘back to how things should be’ —layers to peel away and discard for ever. But in reality, each layer is a necessary stepping stone toward our destination as we grow bigger, not smaller.

Each layer of an onion has a purpose. The outer layers protect. The middle layers store nutrients. Together, they create the whole. And an onion without its layers isn't an enlightened onion—it's no onion at all.

And here's what I'm beginning to understand: these layers aren't random annoyances on the path to our vision—they are the path. We often assume that real life should be straightforward and clear, and things that make us feel bad are bad - whether brought on by ourselves or by others. 

What if each layer is a gift specifically designed to prepare us for the next step of our journey. Without encountering and embracing these layers, we simply cannot reach the destination we born to reach. With all of our layers.

Peeking, Not Peeling

So perhaps our work isn't about peeling away these parts of ourselves and our experiences, but rather about peeking lovingly underneath them with curiosity and compassion. Understanding them. Learning from them. Appreciating how each layer moves us forward with purpose.

For instance: I have an abject fear of being incompetent, which can be quite crippling given I’m developing my own business and working as a consultant, constantly facing new situations, meeting new people, learning new skills, new tech. 

But what if this layer—this fear of not being good enough—is actually a gift guiding me? 

It keeps me humble and open to growth. I have learned to prepare, to continue learning, to seek feedback, and to improve my skills. Not to get in my own way if I f*ck up.

This layer isn’t an obstacle—it is a necessary step to providing exactly the skills I need to move forward. 

Rather than peeling this layer away to discard it, I can keeping peeking under it and learn more self-compassion, and understand myself more. Rather than close my eyes, and pretend it’s not there, I can be comfortable with its presence.

Your fear of failure could be the necessary gift teaching you resilience and courage.

Or doubting your abilities could be vital to strengthening your determination and resourcefulness.

But only if you let it. If you peek. And if you show the layer compassion enough to leave it there to embrace. And then you can grow.

What layers can you start to peek under and embrace?

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Date for Your Diary

Brave Retreat (Advance!)

Saturday 26th April - Phenzhopehaugh, Ettrick Valley. A combination of walking, talking, and workshopping. Connection to yourself, to others and understanding the role you play in this mad world we live in.

There may be a bit of peeking rather than peeling too!

This isn't about having all the answers. It's about creating a safe haven where we can acknowledge the challenges while remembering our capacity to meet them. Based in the beautiful land owned by one of The Brave Collective, this will be a real space to connect.

Perhaps you're feeling drained by trying to make a difference. Maybe you don't yet fully recognise your unique gifts. Or possibly you're simply seeking like-minded souls who understand that rebuilding requires both vision and community.

For more information click here

Investment: £50

Book Retreat (Advance!) Day

As ever, join us on the Be and Build journey to explore how to be the brave you were born to be. I have a couple of spots left to start at the end of May

Here’s to your brilliance.

P.S. If you find value in these reflections, please consider sharing them with others who might like them. For more information about The Brave Collective click here.

Kirsty x