Hello ,

A question for you. Is where you are right now, where you want to be?

Have you resigned yourself to ‘this is it’?

Not because you want to. Not because you have to. But because every time you dream of what could be, the voice in your head shouts louder about what you'd lose.

So you stay stuck. Weighing possibilities against responsibilities. Never quite tipping the scales.

Over the last year I’ve been working something out – why choosing to be brave is so bloody difficult, even for people who've already done hard things.

I've come to realise there are three types of brave:

• The knee-jerk brave – The instinctive response. Putting yourself in danger to save someone’s life.
• The reluctant brave – survival bravery thrust upon us in inescapable circumstances. War, Sudden loss, grief. 
• Chosen brave – the conscious decision to step into the unknown, despite fear.

Do you recognise any of these?

It is this third type – chosen brave – that I focus on. Because paradoxically, even those who've done brave acts or had braveness thrust upon them find this the most difficult of all.

Why? Because by its very nature, we have to choose to take that first step. And then choose to take the one after that, and the one after that. 

We can jump off at any time. But what if we didn’t. What if we kept taking those steps, no matter how small? Imagine the momentum, the impact, the shift. What are the possibilities?

This is my Theory of Brave and this is why it is so important. 

The Scales of Brave

Imagine you're holding a set of scales. On one side sits hope and possibility. On the other, fear and loss – the security you've built, the identity you've earned, the expectations of those who depend on you.

Often we sit there weighing the "what if". We dream of what could be, and for a moment everything feels possible. Then the stakes shout back – what about your responsibilities? What about the mortgage? What will people think? – and we're back to square one.

What I've Learned About Choosing Brave

Doing this with others makes the balance easier to hold. Being understood on your journey. Having someone hold the vision of possibility when your scales tip towards paralysis.

Shedding the weight of your roles and labels. CEO. Mother. Carer. Entrepreneur. Beneath all of that is you – an identity you haven't properly met for a very long time, who has been sitting there patiently, quietly, your whole life.

Meeting yourself is both terrifying and exhilarating. Like trying on clothes that fit you perfectly but you've never dared to wear.

The Daily Dance

Once you’ve taken that first step, you need to attend to those scales every day. Fear will creep back in. The stakes will shout louder. But you remind yourself that your next 20-30 years are going to be the best of your life – those days are not behind you.

It won’t be smooth. Dark days and brilliant days. But it’s you designing your life as you unveil the absolute you.

Each step creates another possibility. You learn to step just as the fear starts to paralyse you. I know this because I’ve been on this journey for the last few years.

Brave is your dance with the scales. And it's so much easier when we do it together.

What type of brave are you experiencing right now?

If you’re at that point - feeling the pull of possibility but the weight of responsibility - send me a message. Let’s work out what you need to take those first brave steps. 

Kirsty x