Hello , my fellow pioneer

If someone were to ask you "who are you"? How would you answer them?

I was asked this a couple of years ago by my wonderful coaches who were helping me to develop content for Soloco. My website was completely soulless and had none of ‘me’ in it.

Who are you? Who is Kirsty Gilchrist?

It completely threw me. I couldn’t answer the question. I felt like my feet were on wet sponges.

I looked into myself for some answers and could see absolutely nothing, a complete abyss. And it completely freaked me out. 

All I could answer was what I am to others. The roles that I play.

A CIS, white, middle class woman.

A mother, a sister, a daughter

A wife

A strategist

A consultant

A coach.

But none of those descriptions are actually me, Kirsty Gilchrist.

Does this matter? Well yes, especially in a leadership context.

Because if we don't absolutely know who we are we can find ourselves driven by others’ expectations rather than driven by our own. 

We find we need others’ validation to know if we are on the right track. To know that we are valued. 

And, when we invariably fall short of others’ expectations, it knocks our confidence. 

It undermines our self-belief and ultimately drains our energy. We don't know where our own boundaries start or finish. And we become a bit lost. 

Difficult Conversations

This theme has come up in The Brave Collective over the last six weeks through the participants desire to be confident when having difficult conversations, or speaking out against injustice.  This can be such a difficult and draining experience.

In our Brave Collective ‘anchoring session’ last week we focused on just this. This session was a cross between meditation and NLP with the purpose of helping participants connect with themselves and to where they want to be.

In this we established that before we start having the difficult conversations, or speak out against injustice, we must know who our authentic self is. Not believe who we are based on how others see us. And by authentic self, I mean the pure, unadulterated you.

The session was hugely powerful, and afterwards the leaders reflected on how much other people's perceptions of them in their past had impinged on their sense of who they were. And how long-lasting some of those external influences had affected them to the here and now.

When we become aware of who that authentic self is, we realise how powerful we are and how brave we can be as us. It enables us to have those difficult conversations, and to revel in who we really are. Yes revel! 

It gives us an internal compass that is completely grounded to make the steps we need to make and have the conversations we need to have. 

Take the Next Step: Re-ignite Your Fire

If you feel like you’re a bit lost and want to dive deeper into where you want to be as you, your authentic self, I have a resource that might help. 

I've created a guide called "Re-igniting the Fire in the Belly" specifically designed to help leaders like you connect with what makes you tick and to start on the journey to refind what makes you you. It isn't a magic fix, this does take work and it is a bit of a journey.

This downloadable resource offers practical exercises and insights to:

- Listening to yourself 

- Understanding what you want to do, not what others expect of you

- Developing strategies for maintaining connection with the fire in your belly

Download here

As you work through the guide, you may find the question, "Who are you?" becomes less daunting and more exciting. It's an opportunity to uncover the unique and valid you, waiting to emerge.

And do you know I still can’t fully articulate me, but my website now really does express who I am so much better. I am also each of those roles, with a lot of me sprinkled throughout. And it feels good, it feels exciting, and I’m making things happen. And for me that is what matters.

See you soon! 

Kirsty