🌱 I'm noticing I'm having the thought...

Years ago, in the span of a few days, two separate people told me how much they learned from the same old book.

I was skeptical because of the title. (Judge a book by its cover much?)

My ego said I did not need to read The Confidence Gap.

But my curiosity couldn't take it anymore.

It's still one of the most impactful books I've read.

🧠 We are not our thoughts

The premise that got me: we are not our thoughts. We are just the ones noticing them.

I used to assign meaning to every random thought that showed up.

If a thought popped into my brain I thought it must mean something…?

The author and psychotherapist Dr. Russ Harris calls this Fusion.
When we blend ourselves into our thoughts.

The opposite is defusion. Same thought, but with space around it.

The solution is easier than I expected.

You just phrase the thought this way:

"I'm noticing I'm having the thought that ______."

So this: “I am behind, I need to work harder.”

Becomes: “I'm noticing I am having the thought that I am behind and need to work harder.”

Or, naming the story you’re fusing with:

“I'm noticing the ‘I’m behind’ story again.”

This space = liberation.

"What a liberation to realize that the 'voice in my head' is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that."
— Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Harris skips the question of whether a thought is true.

Instead he just asks whether it helps:

If I allow this thought to guide my actions, will it help me create the life I want?

Turns out talking to yourself like your worst enemy isn't very helpful!

Todo bien,
Mitchell