Peace be upon you, good people!

Let's start with a quick update:

RATS!: the core rulebook is 100% fixed but now for some reason DrivethruRPG can't print it. Hopefully, the good people there or the good people here will be able to help me solve this glitch. Sigh. I swear. This project is cursed. I may be unleashing a terrible evil upon the world. Ah well... We had a good run.

Unnamed novel about giants in Israel: Finally started doing the rewrites. The main complain from beta readers was that there were too many unexplained plots, so I guess I've got some explaining to do... At 140k words, it's the longest thing I've written to date.

Hilda Finds a Home: I've managed to keep the respectable pace of two chapters per week. As always, if you like plucky dwarfs and pervy ghouls, you can follow both here.

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And now, for your pleasure and entertainment, some nice quotes uttered around the table during my many, many games with kids aged 8-14 over the years. Some of these are quite old, from a time when the noise of dice still annoyed principals in schools and community centers. Others are fresh from the Zoom.

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Kid: It's stupid and unrealistic that the Mandalorian religion says they must always wear helmets.

Me: You're right. A religion that demands always covering your head... pffff... ridiculous.

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Kid 1: We searched all over the city. Time to go into the sewers.

Kid 2: But I don't want to drown in shit...

Me: You won't drown. The water in the sewer isn't that high.

Kid 2: So you've been down the sewer.

Me: Yep, and it was no more than ankle high.

Kid 2: Why the hell did you go down the sewer?! Were you plumber?

Me: I had my reasons.

Kid 1: I bet you did it to impress a girl.

Me: Why would that impress a girl?

Kid 1: Don't know. Girls are strange.

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Kid 1: Cast hold person.

Kid 2: I don't think I have a chance to win this roll.

Kid 1: Winning is never guaranteed. We can only live in such a way as to be worthy of winning.

Me: Wow, you're not usually so poignant.

Kid 1: Yeah, I'm trying to be wise.

Me: Yeah? How's it been working out for you?

Kid 1: People look at me funny.

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Kid: I'm very smart in a stupid kind of way!

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Kid: I like your beard!

Me: Thanks!

Kid: You look like a homeless murderer.

Me: Eh... Thanks?

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Kid: Are there females among the elves? I want to ask one out.

DM: I am sorry. They are all zombies.

Kid: I'm willing to work hard for this relationship to succeed.

DM: She will eat your brains.

Kid: Love requires sacrifices.

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Kid: I plan to do stupid things until I die and then go on doing them.

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Kid: We're good people. We solve all our problems with bribes.

Me: Your definition of good is um... flexible.

Kid: If people don't take bribes we'll have to start killing them.

Me: What can I say? You're righteous...

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Kid: I perform the dance of dragon command.

Me: You don't have that ability.

Kid: Yeah, but the soldiers don't know it...

Me: So basically you perform a dance of hogwash?

Kid: Seems to work well enough for priests in our world!

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Kid: I'm a vegetarian.

Me: Good, then you won't bite me.

Kid: I can still kick you...

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Kid (picking up a miniature): what's that?

Me: It's a dire boar.

Kid: Boar? But this isn't kosher.

Me: Were you planning on eating my miniatures?!

Kid: Maybe...

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Me: What power would you like your character to have?

Kid: Finish the month with a positive balance!

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Kid 1: What's the gender of your character?

Kid 2: Japanese.

Kid 1: I don't think you understand gender.

Kid 2: I don't think you understand gender!

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Kid 1: You can't kill a vampire.

Kid 2: Yes, you can! You just need a stake through the heart.

Kid 1: I don't have a stake through the heart.

Kid 2: No... you wouldn't be asking so many stupid questions if you did.

Kid 1: Why?

Kid 2: Oy gevalt...

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Kid: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Sure.

Kid: If I see that elf one more time, I'm going to drown him in the river.

Me: That's not a question. It's not even a statement of doubt...

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Well, that's it for now.

Have a great, um, period of time.