I can't remember exactly. but it must have been about three years ago when I turned 40, that I started noticing long gray hairs growing out of my nostrils.
They say Black don't crack. And although I'm 43 now, I look 28 or 30 years old, depending on whom you ask.
Having long gray nose hairs come out of my nose makes dating women in their late 20's an impossible task.
So for the last three years, I've been plucking my nose hairs and recently looked into getting electrolysis done to remove the remaining hairs from my face and thought I should see if they would do my nose!
You may be asking why do I want a smooth babyface.
The 100% Truth is I started my career as a Marine and I was required to shave every single day.
This caused ingrown hair and stubble that was annoying that lead to irritating infections and a diagnosis of folliculitis.
While in the military, I was able to receive a no save chit.
However, even with the official authority of a doctor to not shave, I felt like a dirtbag.
The peer pressure of being a squared-away Marine so squarely on my shoulders
(Chiseled as they may be)
I wanted to do something about it so I could look the part of a badass Marine!
So I looked into laser hair removal and the Navy offered a six-session trial.
After six sessions, my course stubble curly hair was probably 50% removed.
With still more work to do, I took it upon myself to spend my hard-earned money to go to spas where people get Brazilian waxes on their chochas done!
They did laser hair removal and I begin to deconstruct hair for my face.
One of the things I learned is that there's a special laser that should be used on melanated faces.
I learned that if I use the wrong machine, there was a very good chance that I severely burn my face or face a loss of pigment or hyperpigmentation
which in the end would have been looking worse than I started.
The Laser of choice is called the Yag.
This machine at the time I started was the $80,000 device capable of focusing its laser beam on just the hair follicle.
Destroying the follicle at its base without Miss identifying my chocolatey brown skin and removing my skin's pigment. (Giving me a partial Michael Jackson face)
Over the years I have probably done somewhere in the order of 30 sessions out of pocket.
These sessions aren't cheap $$$.
Although they have gone down in price over time.
I've seen pictures of people who tried to do it the cheap way and thought it would never happen to me.
They ended up with permanently scarred faces.
On one trip to New York City to meet this woman who was the daughter of Eckhart Tolle
(A story for another time for sure!)
I tried to use a Groupon to save a couple of bucks. Needless to say, my face ended up burnt.
(Insert Picture Here)
So the lesson learned is…
Coming soon after a brief sidebar!
Currently, there are many women looking to enhance their looks and willing to spend whatever it takes to compete in the open sexual marketplace.
My sister was one of them too, as she went to the Dominican Republic to get the BBL surgery.
BBL stands for Brazilian Butt Lift.
Last week, I saw at least three mothers who unfortunately did not make it back from their trip to the Dominican Republic and sadly lost their lives for a chance for the big back booty.
Now growing up my mother had one of these and it was almost the bane of my existence.
As I walked down the street with my mother at the age of 14, I would look back and notice grown men staring into my mother's a$$ and I became extremely defensive. (Yes into!)
I would mouth off at these grown men to honor my mother.
MAN!!! “If you don't get your eyes off my mother's butt!!!”
Sometimes dudes would laugh.
Sometimes they would take steps towards me as if they wanted to fight a young teen.
My mother pulled me away with laughter.
I thought to myself “is this what women have to go through”
For some yes!
It seemed sickening.
And then when I became of age…
I realized that my eyes were often drawn the big bootay a well.
So why would women without the blessing of a big derriere, decide that they need to have something injected into their behind that could potentially take their life?
Well, unfortunately, the answer is Attention!!!
You see, people are craving attention.
But what they don't realize is that attention by itself is just empty calories.
What they really desire is Connection.
And if they really knew what true authentic connection felt like, it would feel like super connection according to their lack of true connection.
Now, what does this have to do with plucking nose hairs?
Well, the answer is that recently, I was educated over a 30-minute zoom session with a woman who has been doing electrolysis for over 20 years.
She has a successful thriving business.
She's around 53 years old and she's finally at the point in her life where she's ready to have a baby.
She is injecting all sorts of things, taking medicine, and trying to get healthy so that she could have a miracle baby in her 50’s but….
She warned me about plucking nose hairs as it could cause infections and infections near your nose are very close to your brain could cause sudden death.
Who would have thought plucking your nose hair could lead to your Brain exploding?
Well Maybe your brain doesn't explode but it could lead to a really bad infection that has dire consequences.
So with that in mind, she recommends using a trimmer so (Insert product link here).
Wink wink
So I can no longer pluck my nose hairs to look younger.
As a man it’s behooves me to use the appropriate tool to get the job done you can actually get one on Amazon right now for about $12 bucks Link Here.
But they only pay a 3% commission for this product.
I know that there is a direct main line to a product where I can get 20%.
So that's what I'll be negotiating in this coming week. (Jk)
But ultimately, the lesson learned here is to be careful what you will do for vanity as some of those things could have dire consequences to your health, mentally or physically.
Life is short.
Look your best.
When you look good, you feel good.
When you feel good, you do good, and when you do good.
You have a chance at doing great. (Go Squat)
But I gotta tell you, I'm not impressed with these booties don't jiggle as God intended them.
So while you can drop it like it's hot!
Be careful, because you might be dropping weapons of mass destruction!
Peace, Love, Prosperity
Abundantly,
JaMarr “Gray Nose Hair” Johnson
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